March 14, 2015

Holding Space

This is such an amazing blog posting from Heather Platt: What it means to “hold space” for people, plus eight tips on how to do it well

I've been assisting at the yoga studio teacher training for the past six years - we're two months into the class of 2015. And during that time, I've heard the term "holding space" for ones students; I've been told that I "hold space" well, I've witnessed miraculous transformations and transitions through the "holding space" of my teacher, Barbara, the training she has developed, and the staff she has gathered around her.

But the concept of holding space has always been somewhat fuzzy or amorphous - what I have picked up over the years has been through role modeling, watching and learning, and perhaps some innate or natural tendencies / habits. So this posting and list are a wonderful attempt to quantify this important skill.

A few thoughts based on this list, from my own experiences:

  1. Give people permission to trust their own intuition and wisdom.
    One of the biggest issues in yoga communities is the guru-student relationship, how that is often abused, and how it sometimes stunts the growth of the student who cannot hear his/her own voice over the admonitions and instructions of the teacher.
  2. Give people only as much information as they can handle.
    "You can't handle the truth!" - how often we come across students whose struggle and root cause may seem perfectly clear (to us) and are tempted to share that with them, or push them in a certain path or direction - it takes a lot of internal strength and wisdom to let them figure it out on their own.
  3. Don’t take their power away.
    It's always kind of terrifying when folks who I have known as "teacher trainees" begin to blossom into their own power - that "you are not worthy" voice within me calls out and it would be so easy to cut them down to assure that I keep my place in the order of things. How many gurus or teachers, afraid of losing their own power, keep their students pot bound and dependent.
  4. Keep your own ego out of it.
    On the surface, there's that "I am so freaking amazing" vibe that some of us seem to exude from our pores. But down deeper, there's our own struggle, grief, fragility that can get in the way of being of service. It's a weird trick - to be solid and real, authentically ourselves, and yet to not present our students with our own rough edges for them to get caught on or cling to. 
  5. Make them feel safe enough to fail.
    First and foremost, by being honest about our own failures and limitations. By presenting challenges and goals that are attainable, but not assured. And by making the journey the goal, not the destination.
  6. Give guidance and help with humility and thoughtfulness.
    "We have no right to take another out of denial" - one of our training mantras. If someone asks, answer with gentleness and consideration. But taking inventory of another's issues or struggle, suggesting cures or resolutions that are unsolicited, or having a library of platitudes or rote answers is not helpful.
  7. Create a container for complex emotions, fear, trauma, etc.
    We have a saying around our studio "losing it on the mat" - every so often, one of us (and it has surely happened to me) will just start to weep, or be overcome with exhaustion, or pull down into child's pose. In the training program, we're often stepping in to lead another trainee away, who may be offering tissues or contact or trying to make someone smile to assuage their own discomfort with anger, with grief, with pain. Sitting with an individual who is releasing deep emotion, without trying to fix it, or make it better, or making it look good, is perhaps the most important thing I do.
  8. Allow them to make different decisions and to have different experiences than you would.
    My teacher has so much wisdom and so much life lessons learned - and to this day I marvel that I (who ignore a lot of what she says, and sit in my own struggle so often) am valued by her, am given an opportunity to contribute.  

February 13, 2015

Office Clean Up: Fax Line and Spam

For whatever reason, this was a good week to do some clean-up and tech organizing.

First off, my fax line. Way back in 2007, I noted the way my professional need for a dedicated fax line had changed (I was renting space in an office building at the time). Nevertheless, when I set up my New Britain home office in 2009, I opted in for a second landline in the place to be used as a fax line.

Somewhere along the line, I gave up that second line (probably about the time my Comcast TV / Internet / Phone bill started to hit the pain threshold and I bought a digital television), I cut the video cable and probably let go of that second phone line.

Not wanting to lose the cachet of a dedicated fax line, I signed up for a digital fax service, OnlineFaxes to be specific. For $36 bucks a month I get a dedicated, 860 fax number, and 25 free pages per month. I almost never receive any faxes, but I at least have the capability.

Today I *finally* got my in-office tech up to speed - plugged my all-in-one printer / scanner / fax into my voice phone circuit (so I could send a hard-copy fax if I needed to), set up the header to reflect the "new" digital fax number, and programmed the fax machine to pick up "after" my landline goes to voice mail (which is to say, never)

Faxes are all but dead, I know, but it's nice to have the capability.

On the spam front, I spent some time trying to shovel sand against the sea of spam. I've owned my powerlines.com domain since the dawn of the internet, and have been using my primary email address since 2001 or thereabouts. So I get a *lot* of unwanted email. And while a pile of that is clearly spam that is not going to change regardless of my actions, a second pile is stuff that I have deliberately or inadvertently opted-in to over the years. It's not that big a deal on my dedicated computer - I have spam filters, junk filters, folder filters to move stuff around and my in-box is traditionally a dozen or so emails a day. But on my phone or tablet - well, there are 100s of emails every day to scroll through. 

So this week I set out to thin the email herd a little bit. I sorted my SPAM / JUNK folder by sender, and for anything that looked like opt-in email (SPAM comes in 1-2 day waves, opt-in stuff comes pretty consistently) I chose to either accept it (setting a filter to dump it into a semi-organized / useful folder, such as "electrical newsletters" or "consumer" or "musical" for places I do frequent) or to unsubscribe.

It's a huge task (over a decade of not really paying attention) but I think I'm making some inroads. the work continues....

February 12, 2015

Dream Log: Long Island, Dad, Yoga

Last night's short dream. I was inside an older house that was (apparently) recently purchased by my parents; it was kind of empty in that "not yet moved in" kind of way. It was located on Long Island, right off the Whitestone Bridge entrance, and I recalled thinking "Dad's moving home" (Dad passed away in 1979). Neither of my parents was in the dream though or in the house, just me and Elo, my dog. I walked around the house, the doors and windows were mostly open. I think the kitchen door had been left open overnight.

I took Elo out on a leash; he chased a squirrel who seemed a little too unafraid, not used to a dog in its yard. A couple of neighborhood dogs came around to check out the new arrival, and I was concerned about Elo getting into a fight with one of them.

Then, I ran into a young yoga teacher who was talking about her iPad; think she was teaching classes online or something, and I did not have much to say to her. And then an older yoga teacher came by who commented "I see you're addicted to sugar" and I replied "I see you're not very yogic" and she smiled and I got the feeling we were going to be friends. 

February 07, 2015

David Wilcox and Patty Larkin at The Iron Horse

Old friends. That's what David Wilcox and Patty Larkin are, in my folk / acoustic / singer-songwriter fandom. Way back in the early 90's, I found them both; pretty sure there was a cassette tape dub of Wilcox's How Did You Find Me Here in my "pre-CD" collection, courtesy of a former partner. Both Patty and David were featured on the root document in my folk / acoustic journey,"On a Winter's Night" which also introduced me to John Gorka, Cheryl Wheeler, Christine Lavin, Bill Morrissey, and others. And I've seen them both multiple times, at Falcon Ridge, other folk fests, and in solo concerts and coffeehouses.

Wilcox was more of an earlier fave - I covered "Eye of the Hurricane" years ago on the open mic circuit; his creative tunings and capo use were my first introduction to those techniques. I've got his earlier works on CD, and downloaded a handful of his mid-career albums via eMusic. Patty's strong songwriting and musicianship has kept me engaged throughout the ensuing years; I have early and late stuff downloaded, the middle career is all CD. Come to think of it, I think I covered her version of "The Letter" back in my open mic days as well.

I was not planning to go (I've got tix for the Nields CD release party at the Iron Horse this evening, two trips north is a stretch for me), but my friend Amy, who does Patty's website, got a couple of comp tickets, so along I went. So happy I got the opportunity.

Patty, and then David, each played a short solo set, that included many faves (David quipped about getting "Eye of the Hurricane" out of the way). Although I've seen Patty many times over the years, I've never been close enough to really watch her hands, and I was fascinated by her right hand technique and the way she just pulls so much sound - bass, mids, highs - distinctly and simultaneously out of a single instrument.

I've mostly loved her song-writing over the years, although the "Patty Larkin is an amazing guitarist" meme has been out there all along. I think I have not fully appreciated how amazing until tonight. Mostly playing acoustic, she did pick up a Strat for one piece that she augmented with a bow - although truthfully she needs neither an electric guitar nor other props to impress and engage.

David is an amazing guitarist in his own right (as Patty quipped "I'm playing this brand guitar because it's the one David was playing back in the day") but while Patty is a force of nature, who plays with such ferocity and authority that she barely needs a sound system, David is a craftsman who draws the listener in with the subtlest of notes and lyrics. We're leaning in to get it all, and he's quietly offering what he has.

David in particular, seemed impish and playful all evening. After their solo sets, they took the stage together in a sort of "round robin / song swap" format that each has participated in at Falcon Ridge. Patty was a bit more formal, playing favorite songs that she felt drawn to (including one of my faves, Me and That Train). But David was kind of a trip - taking cues from Patty's songs or stories to advise his own song choices, folding pieces of Patty's dialogue into a song coda. He was listening intently as Patty played, and often he heard something that made him whisper "yes!" or shake his head at the language.

At one point, he asked the audience to dig up some some lyrics for a song that Patty's last song brought to mind (but that he could not fully remember) - 2008's Captain Wanker. After running through the verse once or twice (and letting us watch as he searched for one tricky chord), he started the song, calling out for the first line of each subsequent verse, and obviously amused at each verse as if he were hearing it for the first time. It was performance art, hilarious, endearing, hard to resist.


They each played solo (although each injected a little bit of harmony, some lead, a little slide guitar on Patty's part). Although they ostensibly dueted on "The Cranes, which David contributed to for Patty's "25" project, it was mostly Patty with some quiet harmonies by David.


For an encore, they came back with an unexpected blast from the near past ' Jean Rohe's Arise! Arise! - which David touted from the stage, and led as a sing-along. (David played, Patty held the lyrics, Jude yelped and tweeted to Ms. Rohe)

Being a new convert to the cult of Jean Rohe myself (having just seen her a few weeks back), I was thrilled to have her song brought forth to what was perhaps a more conservative, old-school folk crowd.

Delightful evening of music with some old friends. And headed back this evening for what I imagine will be a bit more of a raucous love fest with The Nields.

January 29, 2015

Jay Mankita and Jean Rohe at Unity House Concerts

I trekked north to Springfield a few weeks back for a concert at a new (to me) venue - Unity House Concerts at the Unitarian Universalist Society of Greater Springfield. Long time favorite Jay Mankita shared the bill with FRFF Emerging Artist Jean Rohe, who brought along sideman Liam Robinson.

The concert series is both old and new - a longtime uNi Coffeehouse Series run at the church by Ed Brown ceased operation in June after a 29 year (!) run, and Joshua Farber, a longtime fixture / friend from Falcon Ridge Folk Fest, blogger at Cover Lay Down, and house concert promoter has taken up the reins. This was the second Unity House Concert promoted show at the UUS of Greater Springfield.  

The venue is lovely and seems healthy - long time volunteers in attendance, a big crowd that skewed somewhat older, a high-ceiling'd rectangular space with lots of modernish stained glass, and a good selection of beverages and home-made baked goods. Talking with Josh before the show, he indicated that the uNi Coffee House, albeit successful with a local crowd, had not embraced the younger singer-songwriter and folk artists and audiences, and had not really marketed much outside of the local area (I'm good evidence of that, 20+ years as a regular and somewhat adventurous folk fan, and I've never been to the series nor even been aware of it). Josh is seeking to maintain connection to the veterans (performers and audiences) while introducing new artists. This double-bill was a good example of that. 

First Jay Mankita. I was introduced to Jay and his music close to 20 years ago at Falcon Ridge Folk Festival. If I recall correctly, he and Nancy Tucker were a one-two punch of humor that year, I adored his whimsy, his conscientious songs. He was a bit of an overgrown kid with baseball cap askew and a guitar slung over his shoulder. I particularly loved "From a Dog's Stance", a parody of Julie Gold's "From a Distance"


Jay has aged a bit since then (haven't we all) - but retains his boyish energy and charm. He had some technical issues (a buzz in the PA system and/or his guitar, and a sprained thumb later in the set) but got some laughs out of the resulting mic stand gyrations, played a good set of funny and more serious music, and was well received.

Jean Rohe (with side player Liam Robinson) was more of an unknown to me - she was a Falcon Ridge emerging artist last year (and I recently learned she'll be returning as a Most Wanted artist) but she slipped under my radar last year. Silly me - she was pretty much amazing in this small, two person set.

I've been pondering why she slipped past me last July. I have made it a habit over the past few years to purchase (via eMusic.com) the most recent works of as many of the emerging artists as I can find and listen pre and post fest (in 2014, I got 20 of 24), but looking back, she must not have had anything there because I did not get her music. And, playing as part of an ensemble (the "End of the World Show") she may have gotten a bit lost in the mix for me; I've got a bit on an internal bias against emerging artist groups because they tend to be over-represented in terms of "most wanted" by dint of (I think) their energy and volume. I'd rather see the showcase be more solo artist / small groups, but that's another issue.


In any case, Jean Rohe, by herself and with a single side player, blew me away. She's got a beautiful voice, wonderful song-writing, and a great stage presence. I picked up two of her CDs, 2013's Jean Rohe and the End of the World Show (which has to win some folk award for most interesting / entertaining packaging and design) and what appears to be a home-published re-release of 2008's Lead Me Home. 

Listening to her albums, she's got a lot of different energies and sounds - from spanish language songs that sound latin / salsa (5 of 9 songs on her first CD are in spanish), to more quieter folk songs. Her "National Anthem: Arise, Arise" linked above, is pretty amazing, as are many of her other quieter songs. I confess to being brought to tears at least once during the evening.

All in all, a real win of an evening. I do not get to see Josh enough, so good excuse to travel north. The venue is just over the MA border, about the same travel time as New Haven from me - so wonderful to have yet another space to go hear live music. And as wonderful as it was to see Jay Mankita again, "discovering" Jean Rohe (for the second time, albeit) was wonderful; and gets me excited for the 2015 "most wanted" song swap at Falcon Ridge!



January 22, 2015

Writing on the (Yelp) Wall

In yesterday's Hartford Courant: Jojo's Coffee To Close At Month's End

If you can't get past the Courant's new paywall, the story is (mostly) a "...local business driven away by the economy and a big bad corporation..." (in this case, a new, nearby Panera)
The past few months for the Pratt Street coffee shop have not been good. It has lost money for the first time since it opened about 15 years ago. At the end of this month, he said, the shop will close.

"The last six months have been the toughest for us businesswise," said Sze, 56, standing next to the giant red coffee roaster, occasionally picking at the beans.
But buried deep in the article, some more fundamental truth:
He said for the hundreds if not thousands of insurance workers nearby, only a few darken his door. "A good amount of them come out and want something fast, and our setup is not designed for that."
Visiting the Jo-Jo's business page at Yelp provides ample evidence of this. Some snippets from many reviews:
  • "I have been loyal and loving. I have been forgiving, even though they have one very rude barista. Recently, it's been closed for no posted reason on days when they say they will be open."
  • "Hours read: 9am to 3pm on Sunday. I drove here on a Sunday obliviously expecting the place to be open. It was closed! Post your hours correctly!"
  • "When you have one person to act as cashier, barista, and general helper, you're going to get lines (check), slow service (check) and then rude service (check)"
  • "Rude, brash service at the register when asking about breakfast sandwichs with eggs.  Lady pointed up near the roof like I was stupid and I almost just walked out yet hunger can make you tolerate such."
  • "I've been here several times and had great service. Today was terrible, the cook was rude, the cashier was rude. Made us feel unwelcome. I will most likely not come back."
  • "I wanted to love Jojo's so much, and time and time again I have not been able to. Hands down, the biggest issue with Jojo's is the timing of it's service." 
And it's not like this is a new issue. I visited in October 2012, and in my Yelp review, wrote:
As I stood in a short (3-4 people) line, I watched as 5-6 people came in, stood in line for a bit, and left. I can just see a corporate coffee place coming in and kicking butt with the location - which would be a pity on a "local business" basis but probably a boon for those wanting a cup of coffee on a Sunday afternoon. 
Back in 2008, I wrote about The Romance of Small and Old Things and spoke of another beloved Hartford coffeehouse, La Paloma Sabanera.
Hartford recently lost a mini-landmark, La Paloma Sabanera. And it was a good place: great coffee, great people, a commitment to the neighborhood, a central gathering place for many communities. But it was not making money. And as a small business owner, I know that if you do not have income, you can't pay the rent, the heating bills, the cost of goods sold. It's just a matter of time before one runs out of money or energy, and has to close shop. But oh how romantic! How special a place! Would the shop have been any less special had it focused more on it's bottom line and less on the greater good? Perhaps. But it might also have remained open, to fight again.
I've only visited Jo-Jo's a few times over the years, and have never had a wonderful customer experience - and I'm probably batting about 0.500 when it comes to actually walking out with something to drink (as opposed to walking out empty handed because I did not have the time to wait). Multiply that by the "...hundreds, if not thousands..." of potential customers that Jo-Jo's has disappointed or turned away over the years, and you get the idea that this failure is less about Hartford, less about chains, and more about an inability to recognize the customers' needs and/or an unwillingness to meet them. 

January 10, 2015

Folk Friday at CT Folk: Lara Herscovitch and Kristen Graves

In what may be turning into a tradition, I wandered down to New Haven last evening for the first Folk Friday concert of 2015, featuring Kristen Graves and Lara Herscovitch. I really did not have any expectations - I knew both artists were CT State Troubadours (Lara in 2009-10, Kristen at present) and I'm sure I've run across Lara here and there (most recently, in a spoken word piece at The MOuTH at the Mark Twain House), but I did not really know what to expect.

Instead of the traditional, "two artists, one opens, one closes, and they do a few songs together", or the less common but still engaging "multiple artists in the round" format, Lara and Kristen have been actively practicing, and working together. Their preparation, reportedly handing each other their respective catalogs and inviting the other to "pick some songs we can do together", seemed a recipe for creativity and the unexpected. Lara confessed "that's a song I never do" (one that Kristen chose) and I imagine the whole of their performance was quite different than the sum of their individual performances.

It must be said - these two are an unusual pairing.  Lara is a cat person, and Kristen a dog person (for one), but I have a hard time coming up with two musicians who are seemingly more different. Kristen has the warm and fuzzy feeling of that first grade teacher who got down on the carpet and sang Pete Seeger songs; her crunchy hippie roots are not far from the surface. Lara is sharp as a tack (and wickedly funny) in a New York City kind of way, and seems like she could be lobbying the state legislature instead of playing folk music. Although she's not really that similar musically, I kept thinking of Lucy Kaplansky as I watched her sing and perform - polished, confidant, talented.

But both musicians are a lot deeper and more complex than my initial impressions. Lara brought an African chant / round she learned while visiting the continent, as well as a totally goofy C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I-C-U-T chant to the party (following Kristen's more staid "troubadour" song entry). Kristen dropped a few names (Yarrow, Seeger) without sounding pretentious, has a more wry but totally subversive sense of humor, borrowed a Uke for one song (seemingly on a whim), and wandered off stage for a bit to listen to one of her songs on Youtube because she forgot the chords.  There was a "what the heck will they do next?" feel to the evening that was totally engaging and fun.

Together, they were pretty wonderful. As they worked through their songs together, each stepped back to let the other shine, and their harmonies were a lot more lush and polished than one might expect from a "two solo artists sharing the stage" performance. I went in with a "I'll probably buy one CD, let's see who impresses me...." attitude, and walked out with one from each of them (Lara's 2009 "Through a Frozen Midnight Sky" and Kristen's 2014 "Now Ain't the Time for Tears"). I was not familiar enough with their music to note particular performances, but I'm pretty sure I'll be a lot more familiar the next time I hear them (and there WILL be a next time, pretty sure)

Lara has earned a little extra attention. She related a story about an encounter with a Boston blogger / DJ who refused to promote her show because she was not "folk enough" (told as a prelude to a song entitled "Folk You" or some such). And I kind of get that - there's a certain segment of the folk world that insists on sing-alongs, traditional tunes, and a willingness to pull up a log at a campfire on the drop of a hat. Lara seems like she might not want to be too far from a blow-dryer or curling iron for the folk fest camping experience to really resonate. And when she played the John Jenning's tweaked "Mississippi Lullaby" (from her more recent "Four Wise Monkeys") I could hear that Mary Chapin Carpenter drive and arrangement, and could almost hear her shining with a bass, drummer, and lead guitarist with a telecaster or a dobro.

All that being said, Lara and Kristen ended with "This Little Light of Mine", aided by Robert Messore (cajon) and Mark Zaretsky (harp) and you do not get more folk than that.


I'll be keeping an eye out for them, together and as solo performers. Neither has hit the Emerging Artist stage at Falcon Ridge Folk Fest, and both of them would be welcome additions, in my opinion.

CT State Troubadours indeed. Wonderful local music!

 



January 03, 2015

Frozen Buns Balloon Rally 2015

One of my many hobbies / interests is hot air ballooning. I crew or "chase" for a commercial pilot, Berkshire Balloons, and belong to a local hot air balloon club, the CT Lighter-than-Air Society (CLAS). And although ballooning might seem to be a fair weather sport, one can fly all year round. In fact, winter flying, with calm winds, cool air, and sparse vegetation, has it's own special charms.

Each year, on the first flyable weekend after new years, CLAS holds an informal balloon rally or fly-out called the Frozen Buns Rally. Commercial balloon pilots must make three take-offs / landings within a 90 day period to "stay current", or else they need to recertify. So a mid-winter flight is a great way to maintain certification - between the fall foliage season and early spring flying.

This morning, at the Aqua Turf Club in Southington, 14 hot air balloons made their way into the cold morning sky. 

The club will be holding an annual banquet later this winter; and then a period of quiet until the warmer weather returns. If you are interested in the sport hot air ballooning, do consider joining CLAS - pilots are always looking for crew members, you can get notice of fly-outs, festivals, and events, and you just might decide to take lessons and learn to fly yourself!





January 01, 2015

New Year, New Art

A dear friend, Audrey, gifted me with some artwork this holiday.


After Image
"After Image" by Mary Fussell

The piece is a watercolor original by CT artist Mary Fussell. Audrey is a bit of an arts community fixture and sponsor - and I have no doubt this piece is worth far more than I deserve or want to know.

It's lovely and has found a place of honor in my home. My art collection is somewhat eclectic and random - photographs by myself, by friends, and by strangers, a number of pieces of bird in various media and techniques, some framed posters and prints, and a few random abstract pieces I have been gifted, or purchased at charity auctions or benefits.

I do not really collect art per se; art, I think, collects me. 

#RealLiveTransAdult and the Trans Culture of Death

First, let me say that the recent trans suicide has affected me more deeply than most, enough to break radio silence and contribute a few tweets to hashtag . It's been moving reading these tweets over the past few days.

But to follow up, I have been for many years, and remain, very concerned about how the trans community embraces and promotes these tragic losses. In 2010, over on Helen Boyd's My Husband Betty message board, I posted (in response to a call to action about a recent trans suicide):
So no, I will not blog or post to facebook or increase the media footprint of this sort of event. Because there is another GLBT youth sitting out there right now feeling unloved and unimportant, and that young person might just decide that, like this young man, he or she is worth more to the cause as a beloved martyr than as an obscure, lonely youth 
And Leelah Alcorn's suicide note posted on tumbler points exactly in this direction:

My death needs to mean something. My death needs to be counted in the number of transgender people who commit suicide this year. I want someone to look at that number and say “that’s fucked up” and fix it. Fix society. Please.
Following that formula to it's logical conclusion, the more trans suicides the better. Get the numbers up...

This is not a new idea, back in 2011, David McFarland, of The Trevor Project, wrote an Advocate editorial entitled Our Role in Stopping a Suicide Crisis
But there are ways of talking about suicide that could increase the likelihood of other at-risk people attempting to take their own lives.  This is because suicide is closely tied to psychological well-being.

When we draw direct lines from sexual orientation or bullying to suicide, it can influence someone who is at-risk to assume that taking your own life is what you’re supposed to do next if you are LGBT or bullied. This may not seem rational, but attempting to take your own life is an irrational act.

As a caring community, we can help avoid making suicide appear like a logical choice by putting distance between statements or stories describing instances of bullying and instances of suicide.
I'm not sure what the answer is, not even sure there is an answer. The only thing I can come up with is visibility for those who choose life - but even that has its downside. Knowing how fraught a transgender life can be and the personal costs of visibility and outness, I wonder how many suicides by out and proud transfolk (and there are many, all of the suicide victims I have known personally have been post-transition, supposedly "over the mountain" in terms of this difficult path) could have been avoided by a little more turning inward, a little less flying the flag.

There are probably two dozen reasons why I have chosen a less public life, post-transition. Some of those are self serving, no doubt, aware of my own acquired cisgender privilege and ability to move through the world with my trans history below the surface. Some are based on my own awareness of the need to "affix my oxygen mask before helping others". Some come from watching transfolk ripped to shreds by others in the community for espousing other than the company line; my attitudes and beliefs are more nuanced and less politically correct and have drawn fire in the past. And some are based on an awareness of how transfolk like me have dominated the discourse over the decades, how perhaps the best way to permit other voices to be heard is to self-silence, to step off the stage.

Perhaps there are no good answers. There is another dead trans youth. Her image and name are already making their way onto the wall of beloved martyrs. And there is a lost and lonely trans kid sitting at a keyboard somewhere, balancing a difficult and seemingly intractable life with the fame and glory that a public death would bring.  

December 28, 2014

Christmas 2014: Four Movies

I caught four movies over the holiday season (which gives you a sense of what my holidays were like) - this rainy morning is a good opportunity to review them. 

Awake: The Life of Yogananda
This one arrived at Real Art Ways on Dec 19th, and has been showing ever since. A successful run despite a private showing on Dec 12th that many of my yoga friends and peers attended. Really wonderful use of archival footage, stills, and audio to relate the history of one of the first yogis to come to the west.



The film was divided between more or less concrete history (dates, places, anecdotes) and some discussion of yoga philosophy, and how / why it resonated with this country in that time (1920's onward)

A spiritual community friend related how the connection to an historic figure (through the archival material) made it very powerful for her, and I agree. I've never really known too much of Yogananda, and have not read The Autobiography of a Yogi but probably worth a read....

The Tale of Princess Kaguya
I'm not a huge anime fan in general, but I rarely miss anything that Studio Ghibli puts out, and this one is magical. A tiny girl, found inside a bamboo stalk, and adopted by an old bamboo cutter and his wife who dote on their "princess", and with the aid of gold and fine cloth gifted by the bamboo, work to elevate her to royalty.



I was quietly sobbing by the end with the Beauty and Truth of it all. Anyone who has asked the question "Who Am I?" will want to see this one, it's pretty powerful.

Into the Woods
I'm not a huge musical theater nerd - but there's something about Sondheim that resonates (yeah, I can pretty much sing Sunday in the Park, or Song and Dance, all the way through). This one was pretty good - I've seen the play in community theater a few times so did not have a lot to compare the movie to, but I found the score, songs, and plot to be so familiar and comfortable, and none of the actors were really inappropriate.


The play itself is somewhat challenging (with the "happily ever after" moment seeming to be the place that the mainstream audience would have been happy to have walked out on) and the drama and complications of the latter third not so easily communicated or expostulated.

But still, a lovely musical and tuneful experience. Almost nobody could even attempt to replace Bernadette Peters as The Witch, but Meryl Streep was wonderful. The rest of the cast was also pretty sharp, although Johnny Depp seems to bring too much camp / costumed baggage with him to be taken seriously in any role these days.

My only regret was seeing it on Christmas Day - too many people in the theater, someone wearing perfume sitting nearby, and a movie companion who wanted to see a movie, but not really THIS movie. Might be worth sneaking out for a matinee alone so I can stew in the music in peace.

She’s Beautiful When She’s Angry
Finally, a wonderful documentary about the women's movement, circa 1966-1971, with an opening night post-film discussion with director Mary Dore. Loved this movie - for the subject, for the narrative technique (present day interviews intercut with archival footage, stills, etc. of the interviewees). The movie hits many of the historic events, puts these into context, and covers many of the major cities - Boston, New York, Chicago, San Francisco, Washington.







It was a large and friendly crowd at Real Art Ways, and there were audible sighs and smatterings of applause when key figures and events were brought to the fore (the publishing of Our Bodies, Our Selves, Shirley Chisholm, etc.) Like "Awake" - the use of archival footage was wonderful, so see these often careworn women (today) back when they were young, vital, angry, activists was immensely powerful and made it very real. 


Although reasonable short (90 minutes or so) the documentary packed in a lot - turning the spotlight on women of color, on the divisions between the more conservative NOW and the more radical Women's Lib, exploring the straight / queer divide, discussing the various causes and priorities (equal opportunity, equal pay, child care, reproductive rights, domestic abuse, rape, etc.) - with just a few nods to the present day movement (reproductive rights in Texas, slut walks)


Definitely a must-see....

December 26, 2014

2014 Recap

A little early, admittedly, but Christmas was kind of a bummer this year, so I decided that I needed a shot of personal affirmation, which reviewing the past year certainly does. I've linked in applicable blog posts / video / graphics as available.

Folk Music
2014 was a big year for live music. Leaving aside the juggernauts of the Falcon Ridge Folk Festival (my annual July retreat) and the New England Regional Folk Alliance conference (November, my first, and an amazing time), I saw (in general order):

The Yoga
A couple of years back one of my clients wrote a Linked In recommendation for me that included the amusing phrase "...Jude has developed a strong desire for the yoga...." and now I've infected others at the studio with the wording "...I'm here to do The Yoga...". 2014 was more of the same, teaching three regular classes a week, regular subbing, a monthly free intro class, as well as assisting the 2014 Teacher Training (my 5th year doing that)

My shoulders remain highly problematic (not helped whatsoever by all the extra weight I've been carrying), which keeps me out of a lot of my favorite power / flow classes; so yoga and I remain locked in a relationship best described as "It's Complicated"

Live Theater / Performance
One visit to Hartford Stage (Hamlet) and one to Theaterworks (Woody Sez) this year. I also got to Chion Wolf's "The Mouth" at Mark Twain House three times, went to see Mike Birbiglia in Boston (a distant friend tagged me for a trip north). And not really in the same category but a Colin McEnroe live show from NBMAA (Typewriter Exhibit) and The Colin McEnroe Show Fifth Anniversary party at the new Infinity Music Hall.

The Guinea Pigs and Making Music
We seemed to play fewer gigs this year but we ratcheted up the quality. Farmer's Markets (Billings Forge and Bozrah), MCC on Main (3 times), and Blue Back Square (1x) were augmented by a wonderful gig at the Manchester Band Shell and an "all originals" set at the Glastonbury Apple Fest. We also popped up in a CT Tourism ad for Hartford Hodge Podge that ran on CPTV for a while this summer.



In the personal performance realm, I stepped up to the mic at the UU East Coffeehouse a few times this year (thanks, Dan!), played bass for a few acts in the Camp Camp talent show, and led a Camp Camp lunchtime flash mob (Sweet Caroline) which was a lot of fun.


And in "sound engineer" mode, I ran the sound for Kirtan 3x as well as provided the sound for OM Street / Live Yoga on Lasalle for about 1000 yogis....

Film and Movies
Really, too many to even begin to list. I spent a lot of time over at Real Art Ways this year, and a few visits to Cinestudio - I caught a lot of the 2014 Oscar Nominees. I also snuck out to the local Rave Multiplex for weekday matinees when the spirit moved me. Highlights included the annual Oscar Nominated shorts (at Real Art Ways) as well as the Out Film Fest in may (I bought a festival pass, and went to a lot of the films)

Ballooning
Not a great year - between yoga commitments, summertime trips, and rain, I did not get out all that much, and missed a lot of the regular events (winter dinner, safety seminar, Plainville Balloon Fest). Nevertheless I did chase more than a few times, and flew at least once.

Home Repair and Renovation
Kind of a quiet year - I painted the back deck, I replaced my kitchen faucet, and replaced my kitchen floor tiles. I picked up and installed a home energy monitor (for personal and professional curiousity)

Deaths
Not a good year, in the mortality department. My yoga teacher's mother Rita passed away this past year, as did Robert "Buck" Palter, father of my ex-partner Alex. We also lost Gil Dube, a long ago friend from the folk music world, and Laura Bupp, wife of my cousin Jeremy. I've thankfully not lost any aunts / uncles recently, but they are all getting up there and I expect we'll be saying goodbye to some in the coming years.

Personal
In Febuary, I assumed the role of condo association president (not that big a deal for a four unit association). I revamped my business website, got some new personal cards printed up (listing all my affiliations - yoga, ballooning, music, professional, social media), and started a new Residential Power and Energy blog

Went on a handful of hikes this year (mostly to the usual place) and spent quite a few hours walking the loop around Walnut Hill Park in New Britain (got to get back on that horse). I invested in, and installed, some new "street friendly" tires on my mountain bike - but have not really ridden much this past year.  also picked up a Fitbit which I use way too sporadically - but it's charged and ready to go in case of New Year's resolutions....

Finally, I snuck in one Red Sox game with camp friends, in May.

December 16, 2014

The Nields: Wasn't That a Time

I've been a fan of The Nields (in various configurations and levels of amplification) for most of their 23 years - first seeing them in a funky little bar in Bristol, CT called The Common Ground. I was told to get my tissues out when I watched this, and being all jaded and cynical, I ignored this advice, to my own peril. For folks who have been along for most of the ride, it's a tear-jerker of a valentine.
I've supported their crowd-funding project for the next CD, titled "XVII" - and if you are a fan, you might want to also - http://www.pledgemusic.com/projects/thenields



"Did you used to dance and bounce and sing with us?" - Guilty, on all counts, usually on a hillside in Hillsdale, NY. 

December 15, 2014

Dar Williams: The Honesty Room 20th Anniversary Tour

I made a last minute decision to trek up to Northampton, MA this past weekend to see Dar Williams on her "The Honesty Room" 20th anniversary tour. Dar (and opener, Jill Sobule, at least as much a draw for me) made a healthy dent in the Calvin theater, but there were plenty of seats left, including some higher priced Orchestra seats up front. I ponied up the bucks for a 5th row seat on the side, and was thrilled to be up close.

Dar and Jill getting ready to rock "Iowa" (with Bryn Roberts)
 Now, Dar and I go way back. We go back far enough that "The Honesty Room" was not out when I first encountered her - my first purchase was "All My Heroes are Dead" on cassette tape (!). In a 1996 Hartford Courant article entitled Dar Williams Finds Faith In Bristol Cafe, Roger Caitlin writes:
Every artist has a turning point, Dar Williams believes.

For her, it came one night at the Common Ground cafe in Bristol.

``I was going to quit,'' she recalls. ``I was going to get $100. Was it worth it to present my songs, my blood, sweat and tears before another crowd of beer and cigarettes?''

But something strange happened. ``I mentioned what inspired a song -- the Mafia in Middletown -- and heads turned around. People were listening.''

Sometimes, for a struggling folk artist, that's all you need.

``That gig gave me the faith,'' Williams said at a Connecticut Songwriters Association meeting in East Hartford recently. ``As a performer, that's what you need: The faith things are going to work out.''
Dar played the Common Ground many times, and I was at every one of those gigs. So yeah, we go back a ways. I bought "The Honesty Room" (the original Burning Field Music version) at Roaring Brook Nature Center, where Dar was a spotlight Open Mic performer, having not even risen to the level of head-liner yet, and she inscibed my copy "Thanks for listening....and for playing"

So this 20th Anniversary concert was a trip down memory lane, as Dar played each song from The Honesty Room, in order.
  1. When I Was a Boy
  2. Alleluia
  3. The Great Unknown
  4. When Sal's Burned Down
  5. The Babysitter's Here
  6. You're Aging Well
  7. Traveling Again (Traveling I)
  8. In Love But Not at Peace
  9. Mark Rothko Song
  10. This Is Not the House That Pain Built
  11. I Love, I Love (Traveling II)
Was quite lovely - songs that I had not heard Dar play in many, many years (although surely, having heard her play several dozen times, weighted towards the early years, I've heard them all at some point). A very sweet and generous trip back in time.

After the main event, Dar played a handful of other "oldies but goodies" - mostly from Mortal City: (As Cool As I Am, February, Iowa, The Christians and The Pagans). It was a hometown crowd for Dar (who lived in Northampton at the start of her career, and recorded THR in the area), with a special cameo by the young woman (then 5, now 25) whose "we both eat spinach, just sometimes, not all the time" tagged The Babysitter's Here recording.

And yes, not to forget Jill Sobule. I've seen Dar dozens of times; I've only seen Jill play live once (at the Inner Space in Hamden, not exactly Carnegie Hall) so it was wonderful to see her play to a big house on a large stage. She's quite wonderful - funny, talented, just the right amount of quirky and acerbic as befits someone who burst onto the music scene (with 1995's "I Kissed a Girl") and then never quite hit the top-40 the same way even as her musical career continued to be productive and creative. I've picked up several of her albums online that have gone into regular rotation, and will probably pick up a few more now that she has charmed me again. I did but her songbook this weekend and promised to hook her up with a steam train (she mentioned wanting to do a long train trip to write music).

I'd say that caps a pretty awesome year of music (which I will recap over the coming weeks) but you never know when and where I might find something awesome to go listen to between now and Dec 31.....

December 05, 2014

Website Redesign Fail: Real Art Ways

Dear Real Art Ways:

Please put your old website back up. The new one truly and verily sucks. I mean, it looks nice and all, but from a user experience perspective, it's nearly useless.

The ONE THING that I visit your website regularly to do is to find out movie showtimes. I'd go to your calendar page, which used to look like this:


And there, I'd easily see your film showtimes for the week, make some quick decisions about going to the movies, and perhaps even notice another upcoming event.

Flash forward to today - I visited your site to see what's playing - maybe catch a movie tonight. So here's the calendar page. And....I have no idea what is playing tonight.


There are four films listed as playing over Dec 5th, today's date, but no clue as to which films are playing today, nor what time said films are playing. So I dutifully click on Citizenfour (what I'm really interested in). There, on the far right, I see Dec 5th - No Screening. So I click back to the main page. How about Diplomacy then? Again, click, look, again, No Screening. Hit the back button. So now I am four clicks past where I used to be able to see the schedule, and I still have no idea what's playing. 

Turns out 4 clicks later, 8 clicks total, that Pelican Dreams is playing at 5:15 pm and Force Majeure is playing at 7:00 pm. 

Guess what, Real Art Ways? Your website is no longer useful to me. I will, in the future, be relying on Moviefone or Fandango or Yahoo to figure out what to see and when. 

That has two results that negatively impact Real Art Ways: 
  1. I'll be easily able to see what is playing at other area theaters, and might be lured away from your otherwise lovely arts center. 
  2. I will fail to see news about your live events, openings, special events, etc. that I suspect you would hope I would notice if I went to your site. 
I'm not being a bitch capriciously. I'm a member, I'm a fan, I regularly visit for movies, speakers, live events, arts openings, and social events - and I want you to continue to thrive. I will, no doubt, continue to visit often. But bad web design damages, and sometimes kills, businesses and organizations - even ones as good-hearted and progressive as yours.

Oh, and P.S. - Your site is not responsive, and all that hunting and clicking, annoying as it was on my desktop and tablet, is 10x as bad on my iPhone 5S. But you knew that, right?