May 31, 2007

Yoga Angst Redux

I am back to fretting about yoga teacher training.

Specifically, vague feelings that all is not settled in WHY-land. No official information about the teacher training yet. It supposedly does not start until January. Wondering how one crams 200 hours into a many fewer months (Samadhi starts in September). Wondering if I am getting 110 hours and a less certain certification, with perhaps the requirement to do some additional teacher trainings (at additional cost) to get certified.

Samadhi just seems like more of a sure thing right now, even with its potential conflicts with kirtan and its "not getting to work with Barbara" limitations. It's a fixed price, its a fixed schedule, and I know I walk out the door in June with certification.

::sigh:: Hot yoga with Nykki this morning. Perhaps I can chat with her, with Shakara, or with Alison about this - get some reassurance. I need some stability in my life right now and the teacher training being up in the air is messing with me, big time.

I have often referenced the ACOA learning "When there are family secrets, children fill in the blanks out of their own fears and imaginations, and the imagined reality is often far worse than the real one". And that's what the WHY teacher training feels like right now. I'm not getting information, and I am filling in the blanks with my own fears, insecurities, and doubts.

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