So I wrote this overly long and cranky post about the Shiva Rae / Kriplau workshop, which I deleted because, well, it was just me being cranky and stupid and attached to my stupid crankiness. And off I went to the studio to an all levels class to unwind the tight hammy's and tweaky lower back that two days of pretty intense workshop practice, sitting, etc. without a really long deep unwinding practice had wrought.
And feeling pretty mixed about the weekend / workshop, what do I find at the studio but an almost entirely Shiva inspired practice (thank's Linda) which was exactly what I imagined would be the worst thing ever.
However, in the course of the practice I (a) completely reconnected with all the things I find wonderful about that sort of practice, (b) got a chance to root a lot of what I learned in my body and (c) found surprisingly healing to my lower back and back of my legs. Much different to wrap all that stuff into a full practice (with lots of vinyasa, a warm up and cool down) as opposed to workshopping, where we focused on particular and often challenging asanas. I sealed the deal with a lower back healing savasana - legs up the wall, a blanket under my sacrum, and a beanbag balanced on my feet - reminding myself that I am a pretty good teacher and can take care of this body as well as those of my students. I lay there in savasana grinning like a fool (and also crying a little) in thankfulness and joy.
So if you heard cackling in the class, it was just me being conscious of the universe's ability to give me what I need (as opposed to what I want or what I think I need) - I walked away with a much less constricted body, a better appreciation for the weekend, and an appreciation for myself. Can't beat that in 75 minutes on the mat. Thanks Linda. Thanks, Shiva. Thanks, me.