Reading back through the blog....I realized that a milestone of sorts passed a few days back. So before I drift upstairs for a long overdue appointment with the pillow, I ought to note it.
I had a direct experience of my self the other night!
I was lying in bed - tired but unable to sleep, so I read for a while, listened to NPR a bit. I had flipped of the light and was snuggled under the blankets when BAM! I suddenly felt myself in my body in a way that was completely new, unexpected, and conversely completely ordinary.
I simultaneously burst out laughing, started to cry, and rolled around in bed hugging myself and whispering to myself "I'm Me! I'm Me!"
Knowing that part of the experience is to communicate the experience, and not really wanting to call up friends or my EI masters at that time of the morning, I posted to Facebook (as a place-holder, temporarily) and then checked in with my EI masters as I was able to.
Pretty sure this was real.....and although certainly not the same without the pressure cooker, support, and opportunity to share and explore of a Direct Experience during an intensive.
But yeah....nice. I feel less broken....