Some Movies

We've been in a Netflix flurry. I ran across some list of lesbian themed films that we've decided we need to see, so I just glommed them onto our Netflix list and we've bene getting them. Recently:

Show Me Love, 1999 - Really wonderful Swedish film about the popular sexy girl and the nerdy new girl. LOVED IT.

The Joy of Life, 2005 - Bit too cerebral for us. Jenni Olsen's musing on suicide, brelationships, butchness - but it was all a bit too disconnected. Interesting, thought-provoking, but not engaging.

Lakawanna Blues, 2005 - Not really sure how this one ended up on our list (probably the passing butch in a small supporting role) but a wonderful, inspiring movie, based on a play by Ruben Santiago-Hudson, about his youth and his "nanny" who raised him and serves as the neighborhood salvation to the outcast and down and out. True story. Great music. Great cast. Highly recommended!

On tap - Producing Adults, 2004.

Tweaky Back and Celtic Airs

For what its worth, I have a tweaky back. First time I've had any real physical concerns or restriction since I started yoga - over a year ago. I think I picked it up from meditating the other day; I was trying something new (since I keep falling asleep or close to it when I am prone in a very savasana-like position) - and had my legs up in a supta baddha konasana pose. Not good, for 40 minutes of guided meditation.....I need to talk to our facilitator for advice - maybe a seated posture might serve me better since savasana = relaxation is so ingrained.

I'm just being really stretchy and gentle with the back until things feel better. Well, not perfectly - today whilst on the balloon crown line I was mischievously struck by the fact that, with the balloon as a prop, I could do a backbend. (I did, head touched the ground) and also that I could get down into utkatasana (again, balanced against the pull of the balloon / crown line). By the way, there is a really good website of yoga postures here (I keep referring to it to get the spelling of these postures, which I only really know verbally). I also ended up bunny-hopping across the field as the balloon was heated up and pulled me in. BOUNCE.

After ballooning, I did drop by the studio (to get myself a discounted 30 class card) Repeat after me YOGA IS LESS EXPENSIVE THAN THERAPY. I keep telling myself that. Better for me too, I get all left brained and analytical in therapy. Yoga is much more emotional. Today was open studio day; I have never actually hung out there for that, just drop in and pick up a card. Saturday is not my usual practice day.

We ended up at the Pipes in the Valley fest. Heard some great Celtic bands, including Wicked Tinkers (a bit rough for my taste), Mac-Talla Mór (loved the sound, great use of the bagpipes, although at times it felt like a 10,000 Maniacs concert, I think teh primary vocalist just vibed Natalie Merchant to me), Albannach (BIG crowd favorite, really tight and unique sound, drums a plenty) and Barleyjuice (got me dancing).

Plus lots of interesting people watching, some OK food, a beer, fire and police pipe and drum corps, and the most nasty porta-potties I've seen in ages. An unexpected connection with a friend, and an expected encounter with other friends. And a wee bit of shopping, my yoga friend A has been jonesing for my rather inexpensive silver earrings (uhm, really, CHEAP SILVER FOLK FESTIVAL EARRINGS) and I did indeed find them at one of the celtic jewelry vendors today. So the next time I see her, she gets a present for being nice. (Which for the record, she is, in spades. And her little dog too.)

Has Anybody Seen September?

This month has flown by! I looked up today and it was the end of the month; Monday will be an invoicing, organizing, cleaning up kind of day. I have a couple of loose ends I wanted to get done today; might try to get them done this weekend.

The weekend will fly by as well. Balloon chasing tomorrow, assuming the weather cooperates. In the afternoon, Pipes in the Valley, down at the riverfront. In between, a stop at the studio (open studio tomorrow) to pick up a class card. Sunday morning, yoga probably. Then a dessert party.

In between, meditation. Music practice. We're just finishing up a movie "Lackawanna Blues" (a weird Netflix choice, but pretty great).

Meanwhile, my quads have not stopped aching from the Tuesday class with Heather Tiddens. Connective tissue work, indeed. Yow!

More catch-up

It's the last workday in September so I am busily cranking out work. No yoga this morning.

Yesterday was a work / yoga / drive all over the northeast with MYA in tow. Methinks we might have her tracked for appropriate medical services as of next Tuesday. If she walks away from a 10:00 am appointment with some little plastic bottles in her hand.....might be a very good day and a lot of my driving and time invested will have paid off. Jude to universe: Thanks.

A quickie graphics project (pro bono) for a friend this morning - nothing spectacular, just grab a bunch of images (deliberately sent in a not-too-useful format by another graphics geek intent on being perceived as indispensible, methinks), make them transparent, figure out a font, buy it and install it, text grab the content in Acrobat, and dump it all into PowerPoint with some layout shuffling.

I am the queen of cheap and dirty. Fear me. Sent it out, and waiting for feedback......

In the meantime, three small projects for a regular client that I need to get out today so as to invoice this month. And a few other things that I might try to sneak out as well.....

Meditation, Meet the MP3 Player

I'm taking a training workshop that involves meditation. At our first meeting on Monday, we were gifted with a small box with 3 CDs. This week's assignment, a 40 minute meditation, once a day. Quite the commitment. ALthough it seems like this is the "boot camp" week, the other meditations seem to be around 20 minutes....

I spent some time this morning ripping the CD's and have imported the meditations onto my MP3 player. Which means:

a) No need to find a place with a CD player to do the meditations
b) No fumbling around for discs and less fumbling around for tracks
c) A bit of insulation from external noise sources (more if I invest in some headphones in lieu of ear buds)
d) Higher portability in terms of nature, the office, and other places

I did manage to get my practice in this new in spite of dogs and Zippy coming home early. It's still warm enough to use the 3 seasons porch; although I suspect that will become less of an option as the fall moves forward.

Catching my breath

A special yoga workshop tonight with Heather Tiddens at the studio. Definitely a challenging practice for me, since I am not quite so flexible and fluid, but not so energetic and aerobic as some. Less sweat, more surrender and and some new concepts - Yin yoga, which is sort of a surrendering, not hot, do not force breath into ones body kind of practice. Apparently wonderful for loosening up the connective tissue. It was an evening of curiousity. And humility.

Extra special treat, one of favorite local folkies (from Mad Agnes) was in the workshop - did not notice her until afterwards. I made sure it was her (I only ever see her with a guitar) and stopped to chat and says thanks (she and her group were the catalyst for a large dose of catharsis back in December 2003) and they (a) have a new CD coming out called Revenants and (b) are playing Roaring Brook on October 14th. I'm hoping to be there.

Back on September 7th I blogged "....Tendrils wrap around my world, connect in weird and wonderful ways. Most interesting and delightful...." and that does not seem to be abating.....

In other (workish) news, I went to a seminar up in MA today - which was pretty good. 50 people in the room. One woman. Hmph. And Thursday I take MYA up to Boston again.....

Krishna Das in my ears

Yesterday I spent a few hours doing Kirtan homework - downloading music, digging up tabs, etc. So now I have a CD of burned chants, an MP3 player with them in, and some more formal music sheets with chords and capo'ing worked out and legibly printed. Also a few semi-spiritual popular songs that end up getting played. Go me.

I'm heading over to my Sunday morning ritual of hot yoga in a bit, but for now, I am bopping to some chants - hoping to get these grooved into my subconscious over the next few weeks. The goal is to get the music / chords and overall song chant structure and changes into a less conscious space, so I can experience a bit of the kirtan transcendence even though I will be playing guitar. Still no guitar decision....but I am pondering a purchase.

Chris Smither at the Iron Horse

Zippy and I traveled north last evening to see Chris Smither at the Iron Horse. Chris has been on the radar for a while, mostly via Falcon Ridge and WWUH, but we rarely sit through entire sets at FRFF, when we do its way up on the hill, and, well, its not the same as a live gig. We had a very enjoyable evening.

Chris was accompanied by David "Goody" Goodrich, a somewhat puckish sideman who provided some appropriately tasteful leads and accents. Not really the sort of concert we'd choose, but our friend Victoria was going, and the combination of good music, seeing her, and visiting Northampton was enough of a lure.

Victoria is in the process of finishing up a CD of her stuff, and Goody is working with her on it - part of her reason for being there. She also tends to get into stalking mode (not creepy, more like just really into their music) with particular acoustic acts, and right now Chris Smither is the target of that sort of attention.

Good night. I had a beer (gasp!) and a bean and corn burrito. Yum. We also shared some chips and salsa, and a sinful brownie dessert. It was nice to have a table with friends to share music with. So often in years gone by I'd be at that sort of thing alone.....I am sure I've been up to see the Nields or Dar or Cry Cry Cry or Gorka or some other act, and been there alone. ::sniff::

It was also Zippy's first visit to the Iron Horse (she liked) although she will be heading back up on Monday (with friends, not me....) for Tuvan rockers Yat-kha.

Wal-Mart to cut packaging by 5 percent

In this story.

OK, I am not a big Wal-Mart fan on a lot of levels. The whole killing rural downtowns, the whole driving companies out of business, the whole part time workers and benefits package thing. But I am also cognizant that (a) they do what they do because the government lets them and (b) they do what they do because customers want it.

My friend Lynne has some interesting things to say about Walmart here. Bear in mind that she enjoys shooting guns and dressing up in authentic wool military uniforms in order to play antiquated music, so take her with a grain of salt(peter)....

As someone who travels a lot for work to small towns in this great land of ours, I end up at Walmart more often then not when I need tools, supplies, or personal care things. Like it or not, American has been franchised......

Anyway, getting back to Wal-Mart and the environment. I propose that major national or international companies (like Wal-Mart or Home Depot or McDonald's or Microsoft) are in a unique position to effect global change, in the absence of government regulation or guidance. If the government is not going to step in to promulgate energy conservation, for example, then it is not going to happen unless an organization large enough sets some standards, pushes for change. Walmart may become enlightened on this front for the sole purpose of saving some money and earning some positive PR. But the clout they have, in terms of market share and R&D and information systems - will permit them to go places that would otherwise be unexplored, and other companies (and perhaps, the planet) will benefit from their initiatives.

Another tangeant - MacDonald's has heretofore been in the business of making food. They are very very good at making food that people want. And while the fact that a quarter pounder with cheese value meal costs under $5, can be procured in under a minute through your car window, and is (as one otherwise enlightened friend has described it) the perfect meal, are all good things from a marketing perspective, it nevertheless has a significant overpercentage of the RDA of fat and carbs and salt. Bad food. But imagine if McDonald's was prodded to channel its food technology, marketing savvy, and mass production to making inexpensive and healthy food, and marketing it in such a way that Americans actually want to but it and consume it. Yowza....

Phone Banking for Ned

I spent a few hours tonight up on Albany Avenue in Hartford, phone banking for Ned Lamont. I'm not a huge fan of the practice - for one thing, technology (answering machines, caller ID) mean that a lot of people just let it go to the machine. "No Answer" was the winner in this survey..... And, cohabitating with a decidely antagonistic phone answerer (when it comes to surveys and political calls and telemarketing) - one can certainly understand people being upset to get a call.

It was interesting. I talked to a few people - some adamantly pro-Ned, some were sticking with Lieberman (seemingly a decision based on sentiment and intertia). A lot of "I've decided but I am not telling" folks. Some undecided. But mostly, answering machines.

Not my favorite thing. But I'm definitely working towards some change in this election cycle, and aside from throwing Ned a few bucks, blogging, putting out a lawn sign, putting a bumper sticker on my car, and voting......well, its another small drop in the bucket. 2,692 US troops dead as of today. Untold numbers of Iraqi's. A world that pretty much despises my country. And a host of problems - global warming, a looming energy crisis, health care costs, you name it - that are not getting addressed by the present administration.

You can get Pizza Hut in Baghdad, though. Just saying.

Breast Implants Linked to Higher Suicide Rate

From livescience.com:

The researchers discovered the suicide rate is 73 percent higher in participants with breast implants relative to the control group. The connection between breast implants and suicide was not tested and no direct link was found between the two.

However, Bisson said previous studies have characterized women who receive breast implants by a low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence and more frequent mental illnesses such as depression.

The research team also analyzed a group of 16,000 women who had undergone plastic surgery procedures other than breast augmentation. They found similar results, with a lower mortality rate and a higher suicide rate than the general population.

While I am not sure this is particularly appropo to members of my tribe, it does give one pause for thought. I've certainly run across many who have staked a lot on body modification in the hopes of making significant improvements in their lives. And I have met many for whom the life improvements fell short of the expectations.

Some have opined that members of my tribe should not have to undergo psych testing to access body mods, and offer the evidence that nontrans folk do not need such testing to have the same or similar body mods.

This study, perhaps, suggests the opposite. Maybe psych testing should be required for non-trans women to access cosmetic procedures.....what's good for the neo-goose, is good for the goose-born-goose, right.....?

Call out Gouranga by happy!

From: "Neateye"
Subject: Gouranga

Call out Gouranga be happy!
Gouranga Gouranga Gouranga
That which brings the highest happiness

I know its SPAM. But I am always quietly joyful to get this little email. It comes often enough to be familiar, but infrequently enough not to be annoying.

Local Color - The Fernwood

Zipster and I noshed at the Fernwood in West Hartford for lunch. It was a singularly interesting experience. We were "girls" at the doorway, problematic until one realized that we were 20 years younger than the average age of the patrons. It seemed to be full of West End lawyers, doctors, retirees. It seemed like we were the only women in the place at first (other than the staff) although tables of women drifted in as we ate. Lots of walkers, hearing aides, and canes.

Beverly, the waitress introduced herself, and quipped "the soups are home-made, everything is good" and when Zippy asked for the bathrooms, was told "they're old but clean". The food was very good - Zippy had the salad nicoise (homemade dressing), I had a turkey club. The atmosphere - priceless.

Safe at Home.....

Corporate powerpoint geekdom went well, with a 1:00 p.m. drive off time, and a quick ride home (via the Tappan Zee Bridge and the Merritt, rather than 684 / 84) since it was mid-day. Only one near miss - a car was in the breakdown lane, and the person two cars in front of me decided to come to a dead stop (in the right hand lane) which I could not see until the SUV in front of me suddenly veered to the left. About the only thing I could do was zoom around the outside of the two cars, in the breakdown lane / shoulder. Ugh. Not a slick or safe maneuver but the alternative was to rear end the stopped car.

Lots of little projects perking around. Will be nice to be able to go into the office the rest of the week. Although between zapping, a dental cleaning, and some other things, it will still be an erratic work week.

The highlight of the past weekend was Kirtan rehearsal last night. It felt very positive - turns out the chord changes for the various chants were not all that difficult (I feared some obscure eastern intervals or scales) and in fact we were able to go through a lot of the chants. It feels so good to have a toe back in music again.....as much as the Kirtan leader was effusive about my coming on board, I am equally effusive about the opportunity to participate.

Although now I am thinking about guitar amplification - either buying a clip-in pickup / transducer, having one installed, or even purchasing a moderately priced guitar with a pickup already installed.

Strawberry Park Folk Festival

Spent most of the day and late into the evening in Preston CT at the inaugural Strawberry Park Folk Festival. Our experience was top-notch. Aside from not taking credit cards at the gate (which left Zippy and I somewhat cash poor; the onsite ATM was also down), the facility was wonderful, the music stellar. All good.

We missed The Nields (I would have liked to have seem 'em) but caught:

* The Kennedys - always affable, inspirational and entertaining. They sort of provide evidence to the old angst vs. art thing - they seem so connected and happy that you wonder if they just do not have the bad karma mojo to write a couple of the sorts of heartbreaking songs that hit the folk charts (such as they are).
* Jeffrey Foucault - new to us, singer songwriter who reminded me a little of Bill Morrissey, who I have not seen live in forever and I need to play some of his albums and catch up with his music
* Eliza Gilkyson - always wonderful. She had some guitar issues and played a borrowed one which I think threw her off a bit.
* Tracy Grammer - She's one of those "I hear her all the time at Falcon Ridge, but have never sat through a full set in the audience" artists. She was wonderful. Her "manservant" (as EFO quipped from the stage) Jim Henry accompanied her and plays some of his own stuff - and it was a nice pairing.
* Eddie From Ohio - Another FRFF "always in the background, never really sat and watched" act, and they were wonderful.

Mostly, we kind of shook our heads at the great lineup and artists booked for the festival, and how light the turnout. We're used to the FRFF folk music juggernaut of 15,000 people, and we pulled into day parking with maybe 20 cars in it. The amphitheater had maybe 300 tops. It was not a huge crowd. Kind of a pity, really - the space is wonderful, the facility is beautiful. The dance stage (smaller than FRFF but very nice) had maybe 20-30 dancers, at most, and often far fewer.

One could not help but compare to Falcon Ridge (there were lots of FRFF logo's in the crowd, I spotted Ernie and said hi, and several of the acts mentioned FRFF from the stage) and indeed, it looked as if the organizers of this festival had decided to try to recreate FRFF. My advice (as a 15 or so year FRFF volunteer)

1) Start smaller. FRFF did not spring from the womb as a 4 day juggernaut. You could have had a Saturday festival, with Friday night ad hoc music (open mike? song circle?) and Sunday morning light stuff.

2) September is tough - the kids are back at school. Anything extending past the traditional weekend is going to be an issue for families. Cut it back to a Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday festival.

3) FRFF is not sacred space because of its music, stages, artists, grounds. Its the community that has built up around it - and that takes both time and some community building savvy. There were no staff or volunteer tee-shirts to be seen, to give the festival a family feel. There was no real identity, except maybe the campground identity that was not exactly the folk festival community. Anne and Bub from FRFF seem to have stumbled upon the magic - and I am not sure how much of that was deliberate and how much intuitive, but the Strawberry Folk Fest needs a shaman to guide them.

All in all, a good experience - I suspect it may not happen again, depending on how much money was lost and how committed people are to making it work again. But it was nice to be there for the inaugural one, if it sticks around.

On a high note, the folks from Eagle Ray Traders were there, and I chatted briefly with them - and bought a pair of batik pants which will be ideal for kirtan. Gotta find a rust colored sleeveless top to go with 'em.....

Quid Pro Quo

So, I'm surfing blogs and livejournals and I come upon these lines in an introduction:

I am quite outspoken. And my journal is very bombastic, and avant gourde (sic), with an accent on various pontifications...

and also:

So, for those who can respond to me with love and kindness ... I truly welcome you with open arms and warm smiles. For those who want preach to me or pontificate about how much they know and how they are going to SET ME STRAIGHT... KEEP WALKING

So....let me see if we have this right: you will be preaching and pontificating, but we're not allowed to. Oh good.

I might suggest that if one were seeking love and kindness, one might choose to send a little love and kindness out there. Much as I am loathe to quote our friend Paul, "A man reaps what he sows" (Galatians 6:7). Perhaps a more contemporary corollary from another Paul (and John) "And in the end the love you take, Is equal to the love you make."

And now the news.....

Nothing serious to report. Since my last update, I have just been a bit overwhelmed with life, so few moments to blog. Hereby rectified.

Let's see, Tuesday, I worked. I yoga'd. I went to a doctor's appointment. I worked some more. I did dinner with the Zipster. I went to a mentoring meeting at the local pride center. When I got back, AC was here.

Wednesday I worked, then got zapped, then went to a diabetes support group meeting with the Zipster.

Thursday, I worked. I yoga'd. I drove to Bristol to pick up MYA, her mom, and baby brother, then drove the lot up to Boston for a doctor's appointment. It would have been a longish trip, but traveling with mom (who is not a fan of public restrooms) and baby bro (who is 19 months and needs things like diapers and car seats and strollers) makes for a much higher maintenance trip. The appointment was at 3 pm; I ended up rolling back into the house around 10 pm.

Friday, I was out the door at 5:00 am for a 6:15 meet-up in Fairfield, and an 8:00 am call time in New Jersey. Corporate powerpoint gig; set-up day. I need to go back Monday for the meeting. The set day was not all that hard (lot of hurry up and wait) but the ride home was horrible. We broke at 5 pm but it was 6:15 pm by the time we hit the road, then it was rainy and Friday night. Ugh. The driver (one of the crew) was pretty aggressive - tailgating, jumping lanes and stuff. And it was not helped by the fact that the passenger was messing with one of the GPS map things - and the driver was watching a lot (or a cell phone). I felt very nervous; when you see the driver looking down at a screen, red brake lights ahead, and you already feel like you are too close for speed, road conditions, and weather - you just can not help gasping a bit. I know its different in a newish care with ABS and good tires and stuff - my experience with the Saturn is that driving like that = accident. I hate to be such a wimp about it; but it is what it is; and I was completely tense and stressed out when I got home around 10:00 pm (driving was stressful enough with me at the wheel, being cautious - it was that sort of a rainy night) I suspect I am gonna drive myself down on Monday just to avoid a repeat.

So....a high stress couple of days. I got out to Jazzercise this morning, which was stress-reducing. We're going to a new folk fest this afternoon: the Strawberry Park Folk Fest. Tomorrow, yoga, maybe connecting with MYA, and Kirtan rehearsal in the evening.....

Still Alive...sort of

Will post more after I have a good nights sleep in the bag, and calm down a little. The past 48 hours have been somewhat stressful. Nothing horrible, just a lot of driving in not so ideal conditions. I need bed, and a restful weekend.....

The Pot Begins to Boil

Suddenly, we are back to work. A fax came in yesterday to do a magnetic field study down on Long Island. A nice little project, if it comes through.

And a phone call this noon for a two day production gig (Friday / Monday) down in New Jersey - been a while since I had one of them. I had to call and cancel my Edward Tufte seminar for the 18th, which bums me out (I was looking forward to it) but I will surely do it the next time its offered.

Much change

It's Tuesday morning and I am weeping lightly for the mother of an acquaintance, recently departed. Death and sorrow comes like that, sneaking in the side door at times. Not wholly unexpected, and not so close that I might have met this woman in life, but sadness still.

The week is a busy one, as is the day. Today - yoga, a doctors appointment, a mentoring meeting. And of course, work. Tomorrow, work and zapping and a support group. Thursday, heading up to Boston with MYA to try to hook her up with some resources.....Friday - I dunno. Breathing or something.

My car has been down a pint of coolant every day or so; I took it in for repair - water pump, thermostat, and a coolant change. $400 - annoying. Nice to have it back in shape, glad it was not worse, glad it was not fatal.

Yesterday, I went for an interview for a workshop / group on eating. It seems like a good fit for a bunch of reasons. A few weeks back Zippy and I had a discussion about therapists and support - she was firing off names and places and "you should call" - whereas I have come to trust a more organic approach. When the student is ready, the teacher appears. I have been watching for the invitation for a while now, and I spotted this flyer down at the yoga studio, and I knew it was right. Funny, cause I picked up the flyer on Thursday or Friday, glanced through it, put it down. Then could not stop thinking about it - and fetched a copy for myself on Sunday. I called on Sunday, and we set up an appointment on Monday.

Again, serendipity takes me where I need to go, when I need to go there, and puts people and things in my path that I need to be working with. If I were a hard-ass realist I would postulate that I have built the sort of social and support network where I have access to what I need, and I am smart enough to identify resources when I need them. If I were a mystic, I might guess that I have a guardian angel. Not telling which belief seems more authentic to me.....

In other news, I got a really lovely card from one of my clients - thanks for the hard work - with some nice gift cards to a clothing store (appreciated, I could use an autumn wardrobe refresh) and a local Thai eatery. Methinks the crew out in Trinidad is dangerous now: someone has found my blog......cause how else would they know to feed me Thai food and from this much searched for place. Pretty darn nice surprise.

Fall is here. The air says it; last night after Jazzercise it just felt like it, and this morning the heat came on (at which point the Zipster started freaking out cause some of the windows are still open). So I killed the heat and I think will be closing storm windows and buttoning up the place a bit in the next few days.