Back from the Intensive. It was NOT exactly a gentle re-integration day. I did spend an extra night up at Kripalu - which helped a lot. But after five go-rounds with these amazing weekends, one sort of gets accustomed to the spaciness and just rides the re-entry.....
In terms of mechanics, I hit a 6:30 am "Moderate Yoga" class up at Kripalu - very sweet to be back on the mat and just right. For those calibrating their Yoga, Moderate Yoga up at Kripalu is about the same intensity (maybe a wee bit up-level) as Gentle Yoga by Jude. After that, breakfast with Intensive friends, a bull session in the lounge, and back to the dyad room for a few hours of sharing circle. From there, headed home. Picked up Elo the dog, did a few hours of work, and then off to Bristol to teach yoga. Finally chilling out....looking forward to my own bed tonight.
Working on "another" was both a wonderful treat and incredibly challenging.
Wonderful: each dyad provided a different participant seated before me for contemplation. As opposed to contemplation "who I am" or "what I am" (where the object of contemplation is oneself, and where one falls tends to fall into some ruts or runs out of things coming up) "another" was always new and fresh (at least during a three day intensive with a lot of participants, assuming one used a dyad partner as an object of contemplation). I commented to one of the staff - "it's like I am at a buffet, always something new to explore".
Challenging: Another is difficult because it is wholly outside of oneself. Not as many hooks, at least in my experience.
On the other hand, I quickly latched onto the fact that during a series of dyads, I could continue to contemplate "another" during my time as listening partner. And some of my partners picked up on the fact that as I contemplated them during my turn, they could as well. So I got a lot of really wonderful work done.
I comented afterwards that I did not really dredge up a lot of my stuff - which was different. But that did not stop me from dropping into some pretty deep tears at times - but these were not unassuaged grief or bringing up old wounds - but rather tears of joy at the realization of my love for many of the "anothers" in my life, mingled with some sadness for those places of loneliness and lack of a relationship.
No Direct Experience (not a surprise) but amazing work nonetheless, and a few dyads as the weekend wore down that were among the most precious of my weekends to date. I'm really coming to a good understanding of the technique, and I spent the weekend working on staying out of the easy fix of an emotional release (I love my emotions during EIs), staying out of stories, staying out of attachment to the direct experience, and sticking to the technique.
So a very difficult weekend (they all are) and a lot of good work. Someday I will have that direct experience during an EI.....
Back to life. A life filled with "anothers" that I love just a bit more deeply and openly.
Showing posts with label Kripalu. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kripalu. Show all posts
April 12, 2010
April 06, 2010
Enlightenment Intensive VI
Off to Kripalu this weekend for another go round with....myself! I'm participating in another Enlightenment Intensive
Regular blog readers may notice that this is not my first Intensive - it will be in fact, my 6th. I have come to cherish this opportunity to work on "me" - with no distractions from work, television, radio, computers, blogs (gasp!), tweets, facebook, etc.
The weekends can be grinding and grueling - early mornings, late evenings, with a rigorous and full schedule of dyads, interspersed with periods of walking meditation, seated meditation, meals, and resting periods. And yet, I have no doubt that I will drop right in to the rhythm of the weekend, and get down to the hard work of finding myself, another, or life. And maybe just maybe, stumble upon a piece of truth.....
"Well, you mend your clothes and patch your roof
And slivers of God's shattered truth
Grow tender as the grass in clean-swept yards
But a savior came and told us how
The truth was all around us now
Abandon house and field and gather up the shards"
- And A God Descended / Dar Williams
Regular blog readers may notice that this is not my first Intensive - it will be in fact, my 6th. I have come to cherish this opportunity to work on "me" - with no distractions from work, television, radio, computers, blogs (gasp!), tweets, facebook, etc.
The weekends can be grinding and grueling - early mornings, late evenings, with a rigorous and full schedule of dyads, interspersed with periods of walking meditation, seated meditation, meals, and resting periods. And yet, I have no doubt that I will drop right in to the rhythm of the weekend, and get down to the hard work of finding myself, another, or life. And maybe just maybe, stumble upon a piece of truth.....
"Well, you mend your clothes and patch your roof
And slivers of God's shattered truth
Grow tender as the grass in clean-swept yards
But a savior came and told us how
The truth was all around us now
Abandon house and field and gather up the shards"
- And A God Descended / Dar Williams
December 14, 2009
Trying Something New
"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." (Albert Einstein)
After the intensive last night; I was asked if I'd like go out to dinner with the staff. Now, part of my charm (?) is that I tend to come and go pretty quickly (almost mysteriously, like the wind); I immediately, and completely without thought, said "no thanks, I need to get home".
But really, did I need to get home? Really, I had no compelling reason to get home. So upon a little introspection, I asked if the invite was still open. It was, and I went. I had a delightful (in terms of food, and company) meal at Bizen, an incredible macro/sushi place in Great Barrington (very close to my Falcon Ridge weekend) and got home just fine.
As I pulled up in front of the restaurant, Dougie McLain's "Caledonia" came on the radio. Now this is the song that (as performed by Mad Agnes) dragged me into transformative tears back in 2003 as I faced major life changes and it would have been easy in my post-EI state (even staffing, I got pretty open) to sit in my car and let the waves of sadness and tears wash over me. But friends were arriving and instead of sitting alone in my sadness, I opened the car door and went to embrace warmth, food, humor, and love.
I have worn some pretty deep tracks in the pattern of my life the past many years. Just seems like a nice time to step back, see the way I do things, and make some changes.
After the intensive last night; I was asked if I'd like go out to dinner with the staff. Now, part of my charm (?) is that I tend to come and go pretty quickly (almost mysteriously, like the wind); I immediately, and completely without thought, said "no thanks, I need to get home".
But really, did I need to get home? Really, I had no compelling reason to get home. So upon a little introspection, I asked if the invite was still open. It was, and I went. I had a delightful (in terms of food, and company) meal at Bizen, an incredible macro/sushi place in Great Barrington (very close to my Falcon Ridge weekend) and got home just fine.
As I pulled up in front of the restaurant, Dougie McLain's "Caledonia" came on the radio. Now this is the song that (as performed by Mad Agnes) dragged me into transformative tears back in 2003 as I faced major life changes and it would have been easy in my post-EI state (even staffing, I got pretty open) to sit in my car and let the waves of sadness and tears wash over me. But friends were arriving and instead of sitting alone in my sadness, I opened the car door and went to embrace warmth, food, humor, and love.
I have worn some pretty deep tracks in the pattern of my life the past many years. Just seems like a nice time to step back, see the way I do things, and make some changes.
December 13, 2009
Back from EI
Survived a rather nail-biting ride home from Kripalu this evening (icy roads, especially 44 in CT) - should have gone I-90 to I-91 but we went down to Great Barrington for dinner after and back roads seemed OK up there....wrong choice but I got home fine and with only a 10 minute or so longer trip due to the conditions.
Some quick observations about staffing an intensive (vs. taking an intensive)
* It's a completely different world - much easier to staff. Despite similarly long hours (perhaps even longer; I was up earlier, did not sack out during resting contemplation, and worked through most of my "off" shifts just because I was engaged), and similar levels of commitment (not like I was doing yoga, hanging out in the sauna, or in the cafe) as well as eating the same food and following similar proscriptions (i.e. - no caffeine, no sugar) - I suffered almost zero of the withdrawal symptoms I have had while taking intensives. Although really the last few intensives I've taken I was similarly unaffected. But I was just constantly aware of how hard the participants worked the process and the intensive itself.
* I must have folded up 1000 blankets (or perhaps, 20 blankets 50 times each) blankets over the weekend. Exaggeration, perhaps, but not much. I also (mostly (ran errands, set up the meals, fetched late participants, woke participants in the morning or from rest, and went out walking (in the bitter cold, and today, in the rain) with the participants.
* It was also ironic that I, who never wear a watch, had one strapped to my wrist all weekend. I mean, these are the weekends in which one hands over watch, cell phone, and car keys at the start on Thursday and get them back Sunday night....
* I really enjoyed being of service, witnessing the intensive, and holding space. I am honored to have shared in the weekend. Watching the participants slowly unfold or open over the three days - amazing ad beautiful.
* I really think that monitoring this intensive has given me some wonderful insights into the process and the technique to help the next time I take an intensive.
* And due to some participant changes and illness, I got to step in for a handful of dyads. And (as is my wont) left my heart and a cup of tears on the intensive floor. Such powerful and life altering work, even stepping in cold like that.
Now, back to work, yoga, the rest of my life.
Some quick observations about staffing an intensive (vs. taking an intensive)
* It's a completely different world - much easier to staff. Despite similarly long hours (perhaps even longer; I was up earlier, did not sack out during resting contemplation, and worked through most of my "off" shifts just because I was engaged), and similar levels of commitment (not like I was doing yoga, hanging out in the sauna, or in the cafe) as well as eating the same food and following similar proscriptions (i.e. - no caffeine, no sugar) - I suffered almost zero of the withdrawal symptoms I have had while taking intensives. Although really the last few intensives I've taken I was similarly unaffected. But I was just constantly aware of how hard the participants worked the process and the intensive itself.
* I must have folded up 1000 blankets (or perhaps, 20 blankets 50 times each) blankets over the weekend. Exaggeration, perhaps, but not much. I also (mostly (ran errands, set up the meals, fetched late participants, woke participants in the morning or from rest, and went out walking (in the bitter cold, and today, in the rain) with the participants.
* It was also ironic that I, who never wear a watch, had one strapped to my wrist all weekend. I mean, these are the weekends in which one hands over watch, cell phone, and car keys at the start on Thursday and get them back Sunday night....
* I really enjoyed being of service, witnessing the intensive, and holding space. I am honored to have shared in the weekend. Watching the participants slowly unfold or open over the three days - amazing ad beautiful.
* I really think that monitoring this intensive has given me some wonderful insights into the process and the technique to help the next time I take an intensive.
* And due to some participant changes and illness, I got to step in for a handful of dyads. And (as is my wont) left my heart and a cup of tears on the intensive floor. Such powerful and life altering work, even stepping in cold like that.
Now, back to work, yoga, the rest of my life.
December 10, 2009
Making the Kool Aid
A couple of years ago, speaking to a yoga studio friend, I commented that I certainly seem to have "drunk the kool-aid" (a somewhat unfortunate reference, I know) in terms of commitment to my practice, and to personal growth and a spiritual path in general. "Not sure if you've noticed" she quipped "but you are making the kool-aid these days"
I'm headed out the afternoon to Kripalu for a 3 day Enlightenment Intensive. I've participated in 5 of these to date, but this time I have been invited onto the staff. I'll be a Silent Monitor - which means I (mostly) watch and learn, and hold space for the participants - listening if they need to talk but not engaging. I'm also the weekend "go-fer" and errand runner.
Pretty excited about this - I had a couple of pretty vivid dreams about the upcoming weekend. These weekends are incredible opportunities for self discovery - the Truth comes pretty close to the surface and many participants have direct experiences of the truth. I've struggled with the process of late, but its such deep, powerful, and sacred work that I am honored to be part of it. And I have no doubt that, even as staff and not doing the weekend directly, I will witness much and experience much.
I'm excited!
I'm headed out the afternoon to Kripalu for a 3 day Enlightenment Intensive. I've participated in 5 of these to date, but this time I have been invited onto the staff. I'll be a Silent Monitor - which means I (mostly) watch and learn, and hold space for the participants - listening if they need to talk but not engaging. I'm also the weekend "go-fer" and errand runner.
Pretty excited about this - I had a couple of pretty vivid dreams about the upcoming weekend. These weekends are incredible opportunities for self discovery - the Truth comes pretty close to the surface and many participants have direct experiences of the truth. I've struggled with the process of late, but its such deep, powerful, and sacred work that I am honored to be part of it. And I have no doubt that, even as staff and not doing the weekend directly, I will witness much and experience much.
I'm excited!
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