Francis Dunnery House Concert

Not what I expected. Not what I expected at all.

My friend Andrea (and her husband Charlie) hosted a social weekend - a blow out holiday party last night (mostly her neighbors and co-workers, a handful of friends from the yoga world, and the local indie fave Little Ugly, who reportedly got shut down early by the WH cops....). Today, she had invited me over for a house concert with a "singer-songwriter and story-teller", by the name of Francis Dunnery.

Now, having been a folkie (fan, musician, festival crew) for nearly 25 years, I figured I was in for some old chestnuts, some New England story-telling, something a little rustic, a little crunchy, a little earnest. You know - the meat and potatoes of every open mic and coffeehouse from Maine to Philly. I've listened politely to scores of such performers over the years, and I'm always happy to pick out a gem of a song from an evening, or rarer, discover an artist that I'd want to listen to again.

Well, I figured wrong. Francis Dunnery is not that kind of musician. Rather, he is a spiritual seeker and wise man who spent a few years fronting the art-prog-blues-fusion band It Bites, before hitting the wall of hedonistic rock n' roll lifestyle, and changing his life.

His Wikipedia page is seeded with words that resonate - addiction, recovery (not that unusual, given the music business), but then horse whisperer, carpentry, astrology, Jungian psychology. Francis Dunnery has done a hell of a lot of work.And it shows. His house concert this evening is accurately described by him (as quoted by Wikipedia) as: 

"(showing up) as a friend — you can't show up as a rock dude or something — and it’s just me and my acoustic guitar, no amplification, singing my songs and holding a 90-minute lecture on the human condition. I sing songs and tell stories of my life. It’s not a party; it’s more like going to church, but church with swearing!... (There is) an exchange of energy that I call a 'jacuzzi'. At the end of 90 minutes, everybody has dropped their ego. They don't even realise that has happened, but they have gradually taken off their clothes and gone into that energetic jacuzzi together. Something like that is a lot harder to achieve in a rock music arena."

And yeah, it was all that and more. By the end of the evening, we were talking deep yoga concepts - letting go of ego, being in the present moment. It was as if someone stepped out of an enlightenment intensive and happened to pick up a guitar on the way home. Here's a sample of today:



So impressed, I picked up three disks (which he barely seemed to want to take money for) - 2001's "Man", 2013's "Frankenstein Monster" and a 2008 DVD (recorded in 2001 or thereabouts) called "In the Garden of Mystic Lovers" I'm looking forward to spending some time listening and watching.....

Did I expect to get my spirit buzzed up this evening? No, I did not - I was probably going to spend the evening on the couch or cleaning bathrooms, but for Andrea's text this afternoon. But I did go. And it was pretty inspiring, pretty enlightening, pretty wonderful. 

Kumare: Fake Guru. Real Truth.

Casting about for something to watch on Netflix streaming, I stumbled across this 2011 gem. How I missed it when it came through theaters, I am not sure, but so happy I found it. Movie website here. Kumare (the guru, not the movie) website here. IMDB page here.

 

Was not sure what I would get. The premise - american born, Indian heritage film-maker Vikram Gandhi, who appears to have done a bit of searching (and yoga) in his life, decides to do a little social experiment. Creating a spiritual teacher or guru, Kumare, out of thin air - he begins to move through the world (and more specifically, through the Phoenix AZ area) as Kumare and see what happens. Along the way he encounters a fair number of yoga studios, seeker, followers. 

Now, as a yoga teacher, I find myself surrounded by gurus and spiritual seekers who sit at their feet. It was *very* close to home on many fronts - the many yoga studios, the festivals and events, the various ashrams and communities. There's even a kirtan. Hey, that's me up there, playing guitar.And when a quite beautiful adherent in an unhappy marriage practically offers herself to him (he makes a reference to his bedroom) you can quite see how so many purportedly real gurus give in to the power. It's never quite stated, but one is left with the feeling that Vikram did not give in to this temptation.

And there is a lot of pretty sharp commentary and laughter here too - when one guru confesses that he sees nothing amiss with sleeping with beautiful young followers, yeah, we get that. When someone working with sound starts working over Kumare with a car buffer - it's a WTF moment. And yet, when Kumare visits a community of believers along the fringes (alien abduction and interplanetary channeling) he (Vikram) seems respectful.

Eventually, Kumare finds himself in the center of a circle of disciples or followers, and he begins (in earnest) the task of preparing his followers for his eventual "un-masking" - that is, to reveal himself and his deception. 

It is a fascinating and amazing piece of legerdemain, and film-making. Abetted by two attractive assistants (and what guru does not have his/her close associates or confidants) and adopting an amazingly on target guru personna (simple clothing, long hair and beard, an ever-present staff, and a little woven suitcase that was adorable and ludicrous), "Kumare" teaches his truth - that he is not who he says he is, that there is an inner guru, that there is no guru, no buddha. 

It's deep, metaphysical, and self-referential. It's funny, and sad, and heart-warming, and scary. I loved it. Loved it. 

The most amazing thing was the transformation of Vikram himself - who begins to realize that he is a much happier, better person in his Kumare personna, and begins to truly care for and love his followers. He's not going to step out lightly - but agonizes over if and how to end his project.  At one point he confesses that he actually sees and feels the "Blue Light" (a conceit he knows that he has invented). And when he orchestrates a "great unmasking" where he hopes to reveal his true identity, he's unable to do it.  

Finally, there is a "tribal council" type reveal - in a large room all the followers watch a farewell video from "Kumare" and then meet the newly shorn, shaved, and westernized Vikram. You watch one follower run to hug him, another sneak out the side door, never to return. Out of 14 followers, 10 have remained in contact and friendly.


It's such an amazing look at the world of yoga, of spiritual seekers, of gurus. And I loved the way the films focus shifted from the perspective of perhaps attempting to unpants the false gurus to respecting communities, belief, and the path. One comment I found on Facebook discusses "The Trickster" face of god, and yeah. Trickster energy, in spades.

Watch it if you can!

American Veda, April 12-14 at Wisdom House

Long before the Beatles met the Maharishi and the practice of yoga became a lifestyle choice, the spirituality of India influenced Western culture and thought. It already had made its way into the libraries of John Adams and Ralph Waldo Emerson and forever changed how artists, intellectuals and scientists viewed our world, our minds and our bodies.

This dynamic program, “American Veda” presented by author, spiritual counselor, and meditation teacher Philip Goldberg of Los Angeles, CA will explore this spiritual legacy with the help of videos of leading historical figures. Participants will experience spiritual practices they can take home with them to enrich their spiritual lives. This workshop will take place from April 12-14 and is for anyone intrigued by or interested in Vedic wisdom.

For fees and further information please call: (860)567-3163, email programs@wisdomhouse.org or visit: www.wisdomhouse.org/program/calendar.html

Wisdom House Retreat and Conference Center is an interfaith center which presents programs in spirituality, education and the arts and offers hospitality to the not-for-profit community. The center is rooted in Judaeo-Christian Wisdom tradition which supports the center’s commitment to sustainability and concern for contemporary issues. The Center is a ministry of the Daughters of Wisdom.

Happy is What Happens....

My friend Amy has a saying, "Top Ten Day". When the weather is perfect, the company is great, the venue or event is amazing, when the food is delightful. Amy let's us know - this is a "Top Ten Day". Of course, Amy is so generous of spirit and delightfully optimistic that she probably racks up 20 or 30 Top Ten Days per year. But that's another story.

Yesterday, driving out to the Coventry Regional Farmer's Market, I had my own moment of thankfulness and awareness. The day had not yet turned steamy, so the windows were open, and the bright sun filtered through the canopy of leaves on the windy country road. I had my musical instruments and amps in the car; a cooler of water on ice, and a large tarp to use as a sun screen. I was en route to spending three hours doing something I love - playing music - with some wonderful people and musicians, my beloved Guinea Pigs. And I was headed out to support a farmer's market where local farmer's were selling their produce, grown with sweat and love, to people who appreciate fresh, local, and healthy food.

And as I was driving along the road, enjoying those sites, sounds, and smells before me and contemplating the day ahead, the realization or awareness suddenly emerged that I was happy. For those who have done Enlightenment Intensive work, it was like a tiny little Direct Experience. My life was not blown wide open, but there was a little slice of divine awareness there, and it colored the rest of the day with thankfulness, joy, and delight.

Who I Am Waiting For

It's been a long while since I sat in the crowd at a kirtan. Years ago, I sat in the audience at West Hartford Yoga as Shankara and Friends played and I was deeply moved. It was not long after that I found myself at Shankara's side, playing guitar and bass, in that same ensemble, where I have been ever since. And although playing kirtan has its own rewards, there is a bit of loss there too, as one needs to maintain enough identity to keep the chords flowing, follow the leader, and play together as a group.

Yesterday, the grand-daddy of kirtan chanting in the west, Krishna Das (KD), was in town, for a special workshop at Temple Beth El, sponsored by West Hartford Yoga.  I was still on the inside a buit - got there early and worked the set up and crowd control (300+ people came, KD was running a little late, and a thunderstorm blew through just as the long line of people was being let in). But once KD started the workshop, I was on my cushion, in the crowd.

It was an atypical KD event - with a bit of chanting on either end, bookending some reflection on his path, and his guru, and a lot of questions from the audience. Diehard kirtan fans, just there for the music, may have felt cheated, but for me, it was perfect. Kirtan can be draining, and for whatever reason the middle period of reflection and speaking gave me just the right amount of percolating.

So when KD started his final chants, I found myself warming, and falling into the familiar trance of sound, chanting, moving. All very lovely, anticipated and welcomed. But there was a surprise waiting for me. For some reason, all that talk, all that Q&A, primed the pump, so to speak. So when the chant was over, and KD set up his last song, I found my heart splitting wide open, and I found myself sitting in a bubbling pot of tears, laughter, smiles, and embrace that I have found within Direct Experience. Yep, Jude got herself a little bit enlightened yesterday. Wholly unexpected, wholly delighted. So if I kind of looked through you yesterday, or had that kirtan stoned glazed over experience - well, know you know.

In the midst of it all, incredible laughter. I've been cleaning my life up. The 21 day detox cleanse that I have recently completed seemed to trigger a cleaning and organizing frenzy - I have a little notebook on my coffee table that I've made lists of little chores - clean the fridge, vacuum the stairs, etc. and I have been successful at knocking them out. My home has gone from a mess of dog fur, clutter, and mild chaos to peaceful organization. I'm so far down the list that the last few items I have crossed off - replace batteries in smoke detectors, clean out the little plastic cart housing dog supplies and treats, buy a new spice rack and put the spices out of site - were almost invisible in terms of benefit, but satisfying to complete anyway.

After my first enlightenment intensive (and direct experience) I came home to my old place in Hartford, looked around and clearly saw every single spec of dust, clutter, and grime, and thought "who lives here?" I spent hours cleaning that day, the mess grated on my newly opened eyes and mind. So in retrospect, it makes sense that after a solid week or so of inexplicable cleaning and preparation, I was getting ready for something big.

And just yesterday, before the kirtan, I was joking with my friends that I had two theories about the cleaning - that someone special was going to come into my life, or that I was going to die and did not want my friends and family to find me living in squalor. In reality, both theories were true. The "someone special" is, of course, ME! As I sat in my little bubble of bliss, as KD played, tears streaming down my face, I felt the love that all this cleaning and making beautiful has made visible. And, for those who have had the joy of a direct experience, it is, indeed, a small death, as the self collapses and the wall between who I thought I was, and the rest of humanity, the rest of life, and the rest of the universe comes down around my ankles.

The Zen saying goes "Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water". Everything changes, nothing changes. I'm sitting in my basement office, the one space in this house that has escaped the cleansing wrath and remains a bit of a mess. It's on the list, trust me, and I'll get to it, I am sure. My big client is back in town and the short hiatus of engineering work is over as his work starts trickling in. I'm back in front of the room for my beloved 9:15 All Levels class this morning.

But, a wholly unexpected, delightful and delicious day yesterday. Summer of 2012, I'm here, ready to play, to love, to laugh, to feel. Come and get me :)

Coming Home 2012

Just returned from Coming Home: A Mindfulness Meditation weekend for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex, and Queer Communities. Led by Larry Yang and Maddy Klyne, it was a very interesting, and in a lot of ways challenging, experience.

The work was primarily based on Vipassana Meditation. So although my work in the yoga community, mindfulness, and enlightenment intensives have incorporated this sort of work, I am not sure I expected a full day of sitting / walking meditation. I do not have that sort of formal meditation practice, so there was some challenge there. Specifically, so much of the weekend vibed "enlightenment intensive" that I was ready to roll up my sleeves and dig in to one of the questions, such as "Who Am I?" - and that's just not the point of Vipasanna. It's all about letting go, softening, observing, cultivating a quiet and aware mind - and specifically not about getting somewhere. Maybe there is a quiet goal of opening, of awakening - but certainly not the drive towards a "direct experience of the truth" (with the laughter, tears, joy, awe, etc. that go along with that) of the EI.

So I struggled. As I stepped out into the walking meditation, I felt the urge to dance around. The TREE. Don't you see it? The TREE! (and any other thing that caught my EI-blown awake mind, there was much to distract, the Garrison Institute grounds were beautiful, and the weekend attendees were equally amazing) as the other attendees were watching their footfalls diligently in walking meditation. Although the direct experience fades as one lives ones life, I am not sure that one ever forgets the substance. I may not feel that blown open every day, but having felt that a few times, its hard not to feel like running ahead on the path.

Does a direct experience ruin one for the diligence and patient path of vipasanna? Must ask one of my teachers for his thoughts....

It was, for all that, a lovely weekend. Held in functional silence, I did not get much chance to mix, mingle, and network, but I have no doubt I would adore most of the folks there, give 1/2 a chance. I do wish there had been more space for getting to know people. The facility was wonderful for this sort of retreat. The food - amazing - vegetarian, clean, delicious.

There seems to be some interest in doing this again, and I suspect I will be there if they do!

Somebody Loves Me

As I was setting up my tent last week at Falcon Ridge, I marveled at how neatly the tent had been put away - all the pieces neatly bagged, the tent nicely folded and put away dry. And I realized that the tent had probably not been pulled out since it was packed up at the end of fest last year; that I had carefully and mindfully put it away last year; sending a message into the future. Jude of 2011, Jude of 2010 loves you and wants you to have a wonderful festival week.

It was a sweet moment of realization. Sometimes I get down on myself regarding my messiness or my lack of discipline around some areas of my life. But having that realization brought me a sense of being taken care of - by myself surely, but also by the universe.

And of course, as I pulled down the campsite at the end of this year's fest, I kept that same sense of mindfulness and reverence for whoever I will be as I set up my campsite in 2012.

Much Life, Bad Blogging

I find myself in the embarrassing position of not having blogged one bit in July, to date. Aack! Bad blogger!

I have excuses, however. I was in Montana from July 10 - 16, on a Yoga & Ceremony retreat at the Blacktail Ranch, with Heather Tiddens and Cheri Clampett. An amazing week - the land, our hosts, and these two amazing yogis, healers, and spiritual catalysts. I'll blog in detail in a bit. But while I was there, I was 100% deprived of cell phone and internet service, so it was truly a "get away from it all" kind of weekend.

In the days proceeding the Montana trip, I was scrambling to get ahead on work. And similarly, right after the trip I had a backlog of things on the to-do list that I needed to plow through. Then off to my second "getaway" - 5 nights in a tent on a farm in Hillsdale NY for the annual Falcon Ridge Folk Fest. As usual, I had a blast, and the weather was much better this year than in previous years (we got some rain, but only SOME rain, and no tornadoes, severe thunderstorms, day long monsoons, etc.) I shall blog as well about the folk fest.

On top of all that, Guinea Pigs stuff - a gig at Billings Forge on July 8th, and another coming up at Manchester Community College Farmer's Market on Wednesday, July 28th. Some rehearsals in there as well as a visit to the recording studio to tweak the bass tracks.

And now, back in my life for the first time in a few weeks. Work to catch up on, laundry as well, airing out the camping gear and stowing it. I got in a good practice with my teacher Barbara tonight - wonderful to be back in my body after so much rough service. Just puttering tonight - folding some laundry, straightening up, listening to my folk fest music purchases, looking forward to This American Life at 11....

I'll leave you with this snippet of folk fest life:

Tell Me What Another Is

Back from the Intensive. It was NOT exactly a gentle re-integration day. I did spend an extra night up at Kripalu - which helped a lot. But after five go-rounds with these amazing weekends, one sort of gets accustomed to the spaciness and just rides the re-entry.....

In terms of mechanics, I hit a 6:30 am "Moderate Yoga" class up at Kripalu - very sweet to be back on the mat and just right. For those calibrating their Yoga, Moderate Yoga up at Kripalu is about the same intensity (maybe a wee bit up-level) as Gentle Yoga by Jude. After that, breakfast with Intensive friends, a bull session in the lounge, and back to the dyad room for a few hours of sharing circle. From there, headed home. Picked up Elo the dog, did a few hours of work, and then off to Bristol to teach yoga. Finally chilling out....looking forward to my own bed tonight.

Working on "another" was both a wonderful treat and incredibly challenging.

Wonderful: each dyad provided a different participant seated before me for contemplation. As opposed to contemplation "who I am" or "what I am" (where the object of contemplation is oneself, and where one falls tends to fall into some ruts or runs out of things coming up) "another" was always new and fresh (at least during a three day intensive with a lot of participants, assuming one used a dyad partner as an object of contemplation). I commented to one of the staff - "it's like I am at a buffet, always something new to explore".

Challenging: Another is difficult because it is wholly outside of oneself. Not as many hooks, at least in my experience.

On the other hand, I quickly latched onto the fact that during a series of dyads, I could continue to contemplate "another" during my time as listening partner. And some of my partners picked up on the fact that as I contemplated them during my turn, they could as well. So I got a lot of really wonderful work done.

I comented afterwards that I did not really dredge up a lot of my stuff - which was different. But that did not stop me from dropping into some pretty deep tears at times - but these were not unassuaged grief or bringing up old wounds - but rather tears of joy at the realization of my love for many of the "anothers" in my life, mingled with some sadness for those places of loneliness and lack of a relationship.

No Direct Experience (not a surprise) but amazing work nonetheless, and a few dyads as the weekend wore down that were among the most precious of my weekends to date. I'm really coming to a good understanding of the technique, and I spent the weekend working on staying out of the easy fix of an emotional release (I love my emotions during EIs), staying out of stories, staying out of attachment to the direct experience, and sticking to the technique.

So a very difficult weekend (they all are) and a lot of good work. Someday I will have that direct experience during an EI.....

Back to life. A life filled with "anothers" that I love just a bit more deeply and openly.

Enlightenment Intensive VI

Off to Kripalu this weekend for another go round with....myself! I'm participating in another Enlightenment Intensive

Regular blog readers may notice that this is not my first Intensive - it will be in fact, my 6th. I have come to cherish this opportunity to work on "me" - with no distractions from work, television, radio, computers, blogs (gasp!), tweets, facebook, etc.

The weekends can be grinding and grueling - early mornings, late evenings, with a rigorous and full schedule of dyads, interspersed with periods of walking meditation, seated meditation, meals, and resting periods. And yet, I have no doubt that I will drop right in to the rhythm of the weekend, and get down to the hard work of finding myself, another, or life. And maybe just maybe, stumble upon a piece of truth.....

"Well, you mend your clothes and patch your roof
And slivers of God's shattered truth
Grow tender as the grass in clean-swept yards
But a savior came and told us how
The truth was all around us now
Abandon house and field and gather up the shards"
- And A God Descended / Dar Williams

Hey Wait. It's Me!

Reading back through the blog....I realized that a milestone of sorts passed a few days back. So before I drift upstairs for a long overdue appointment with the pillow, I ought to note it.

I had a direct experience of my self the other night!

I was lying in bed - tired but unable to sleep, so I read for a while, listened to NPR a bit. I had flipped of the light and was snuggled under the blankets when BAM! I suddenly felt myself in my body in a way that was completely new, unexpected, and conversely completely ordinary.

I simultaneously burst out laughing, started to cry, and rolled around in bed hugging myself and whispering to myself "I'm Me! I'm Me!"

Knowing that part of the experience is to communicate the experience, and not really wanting to call up friends or my EI masters at that time of the morning, I posted to Facebook (as a place-holder, temporarily) and then checked in with my EI masters as I was able to.

Pretty sure this was real.....and although certainly not the same without the pressure cooker, support, and opportunity to share and explore of a Direct Experience during an intensive.

But yeah....nice. I feel less broken....

Somebody Loves Me

Due to a extenuating circumstances (get better soon, AJ Poole!) I've been sucked into the yoga teacher training this weekend. Incredible honor to witness this process, incredible opportunity to work with Barb, Peter, Shankara and Nykki - but ohmigawd is it exhausting. Friday 5 - 10, Saturday 1 - 10, and Sunday 12 - 8. Each day starts out with a strong practice - and although assisting is not as physically challenging as being on the mat it's still physically and emotionally tiring.

And of course, this is the weekend I'm subbing in for a gentle class at 9 am. So not a lot of time for my own practice, not a lot of time for healthy eating. Last night as I drifted off to sleep I was thinking about food - what I was going to get into my system in between my gentle class ending and the training starting. Thinking about all the places I could get something healthy (and also some places to snarf down something quick). And I realized I had everything I needed in the fridge. So this morning as I got up I made a salad - spring mix lettuce, matchstick carrots and radishes, red cabbage, mushrooms, broccoli, garbanzos, celery. (some sprouts would have been nice but I'm out) As I was closing the lid on the to-go container (which I admit to hoarding a little, they are so useful and I have a hard time tossing stuff like this, even into the recycling bin) it looked so beautiful and lovingly prepared and I thought impulsively "somebody loved me enough to make this beautiful salad"

And then it hit me. Of course somebody loves me. It's me!

It was a good feeling to have all this healthy food at my finger tips, to be the kind of person who can whip up a salad from itens on hand. Not sure I would have been that person a year ago.

Finishing up some yummy 5 grain oatmeal (with raisins, walnuts, and agave) and then shower. Hope to hit the mat a little (here or at the studio) before I have to teach. And then let my yoga day begin!

Trying Something New

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." (Albert Einstein)

After the intensive last night; I was asked if I'd like go out to dinner with the staff. Now, part of my charm (?) is that I tend to come and go pretty quickly (almost mysteriously, like the wind); I immediately, and completely without thought, said "no thanks, I need to get home".

But really, did I need to get home? Really, I had no compelling reason to get home. So upon a little introspection, I asked if the invite was still open. It was, and I went. I had a delightful (in terms of food, and company) meal at Bizen, an incredible macro/sushi place in Great Barrington (very close to my Falcon Ridge weekend) and got home just fine.

As I pulled up in front of the restaurant, Dougie McLain's "Caledonia" came on the radio. Now this is the song that (as performed by Mad Agnes) dragged me into transformative tears back in 2003 as I faced major life changes and it would have been easy in my post-EI state (even staffing, I got pretty open) to sit in my car and let the waves of sadness and tears wash over me. But friends were arriving and instead of sitting alone in my sadness, I opened the car door and went to embrace warmth, food, humor, and love.

I have worn some pretty deep tracks in the pattern of my life the past many years. Just seems like a nice time to step back, see the way I do things, and make some changes.

Back from EI

Survived a rather nail-biting ride home from Kripalu this evening (icy roads, especially 44 in CT) - should have gone I-90 to I-91 but we went down to Great Barrington for dinner after and back roads seemed OK up there....wrong choice but I got home fine and with only a 10 minute or so longer trip due to the conditions.

Some quick observations about staffing an intensive (vs. taking an intensive)

* It's a completely different world - much easier to staff. Despite similarly long hours (perhaps even longer; I was up earlier, did not sack out during resting contemplation, and worked through most of my "off" shifts just because I was engaged), and similar levels of commitment (not like I was doing yoga, hanging out in the sauna, or in the cafe) as well as eating the same food and following similar proscriptions (i.e. - no caffeine, no sugar) - I suffered almost zero of the withdrawal symptoms I have had while taking intensives. Although really the last few intensives I've taken I was similarly unaffected. But I was just constantly aware of how hard the participants worked the process and the intensive itself.

* I must have folded up 1000 blankets (or perhaps, 20 blankets 50 times each) blankets over the weekend. Exaggeration, perhaps, but not much. I also (mostly (ran errands, set up the meals, fetched late participants, woke participants in the morning or from rest, and went out walking (in the bitter cold, and today, in the rain) with the participants.

* It was also ironic that I, who never wear a watch, had one strapped to my wrist all weekend. I mean, these are the weekends in which one hands over watch, cell phone, and car keys at the start on Thursday and get them back Sunday night....

* I really enjoyed being of service, witnessing the intensive, and holding space. I am honored to have shared in the weekend. Watching the participants slowly unfold or open over the three days - amazing ad beautiful.

* I really think that monitoring this intensive has given me some wonderful insights into the process and the technique to help the next time I take an intensive.

* And due to some participant changes and illness, I got to step in for a handful of dyads. And (as is my wont) left my heart and a cup of tears on the intensive floor. Such powerful and life altering work, even stepping in cold like that.

Now, back to work, yoga, the rest of my life.

Making the Kool Aid

A couple of years ago, speaking to a yoga studio friend, I commented that I certainly seem to have "drunk the kool-aid" (a somewhat unfortunate reference, I know) in terms of commitment to my practice, and to personal growth and a spiritual path in general. "Not sure if you've noticed" she quipped "but you are making the kool-aid these days"

I'm headed out the afternoon to Kripalu for a 3 day Enlightenment Intensive. I've participated in 5 of these to date, but this time I have been invited onto the staff. I'll be a Silent Monitor - which means I (mostly) watch and learn, and hold space for the participants - listening if they need to talk but not engaging. I'm also the weekend "go-fer" and errand runner.

Pretty excited about this - I had a couple of pretty vivid dreams about the upcoming weekend. These weekends are incredible opportunities for self discovery - the Truth comes pretty close to the surface and many participants have direct experiences of the truth. I've struggled with the process of late, but its such deep, powerful, and sacred work that I am honored to be part of it. And I have no doubt that, even as staff and not doing the weekend directly, I will witness much and experience much.

I'm excited!