April 12, 2010

Tell Me What Another Is

Back from the Intensive. It was NOT exactly a gentle re-integration day. I did spend an extra night up at Kripalu - which helped a lot. But after five go-rounds with these amazing weekends, one sort of gets accustomed to the spaciness and just rides the re-entry.....

In terms of mechanics, I hit a 6:30 am "Moderate Yoga" class up at Kripalu - very sweet to be back on the mat and just right. For those calibrating their Yoga, Moderate Yoga up at Kripalu is about the same intensity (maybe a wee bit up-level) as Gentle Yoga by Jude. After that, breakfast with Intensive friends, a bull session in the lounge, and back to the dyad room for a few hours of sharing circle. From there, headed home. Picked up Elo the dog, did a few hours of work, and then off to Bristol to teach yoga. Finally chilling out....looking forward to my own bed tonight.

Working on "another" was both a wonderful treat and incredibly challenging.

Wonderful: each dyad provided a different participant seated before me for contemplation. As opposed to contemplation "who I am" or "what I am" (where the object of contemplation is oneself, and where one falls tends to fall into some ruts or runs out of things coming up) "another" was always new and fresh (at least during a three day intensive with a lot of participants, assuming one used a dyad partner as an object of contemplation). I commented to one of the staff - "it's like I am at a buffet, always something new to explore".

Challenging: Another is difficult because it is wholly outside of oneself. Not as many hooks, at least in my experience.

On the other hand, I quickly latched onto the fact that during a series of dyads, I could continue to contemplate "another" during my time as listening partner. And some of my partners picked up on the fact that as I contemplated them during my turn, they could as well. So I got a lot of really wonderful work done.

I comented afterwards that I did not really dredge up a lot of my stuff - which was different. But that did not stop me from dropping into some pretty deep tears at times - but these were not unassuaged grief or bringing up old wounds - but rather tears of joy at the realization of my love for many of the "anothers" in my life, mingled with some sadness for those places of loneliness and lack of a relationship.

No Direct Experience (not a surprise) but amazing work nonetheless, and a few dyads as the weekend wore down that were among the most precious of my weekends to date. I'm really coming to a good understanding of the technique, and I spent the weekend working on staying out of the easy fix of an emotional release (I love my emotions during EIs), staying out of stories, staying out of attachment to the direct experience, and sticking to the technique.

So a very difficult weekend (they all are) and a lot of good work. Someday I will have that direct experience during an EI.....

Back to life. A life filled with "anothers" that I love just a bit more deeply and openly.

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