Yoga Dream

I have not consciously dreamed of yoga, until last evening.

I was in a practice, which I perceived to be tomorrow's special new years day practice. We were doing a partner exercise, with one yogi in the posture and the partner assisting, doing an unfamiliar posture which I perceived to be a hip opener. The yogi was in table, doing something with a leg and arm on each side, and the partner was behind the yogi, pressing the leg or arm into the back.

In my case, there was an odd person in the room, and my partner (initially male) abandoned me to work with the odd person (another woman). It did not feel a conscious and deliberate rejection, but rather "I am going to try to work with you both" but in reality, I got short-changed. So I objected, and told my (male partner) I could not work with him and went to work with the odd person (woman)

Except that she also had another person to work with, and again, I was left out. In the course of it all, I realize that my yoga mats (which are in reality fairly new and in good condition) were ripping and shredding under me. Also I recall pushing back into pidgeon (a hip opener I can do alone, without a partner). Finally, I kind of left the studio in frustration, and was driving around. Ostensibly, I had left temporarily (just during this posture) but it seemed like I might not go back.

Wow. Lot's to chew on.

First off, in the studio, doing partner work, this sort of thing never happens. If one is the odd person (and that has happened to me on occasion) one ends up working with the teacher or an assistant - and tends to get a bit of extra attention, a bit more work (no need to reciprocate or trade places). So I do not think I can take the dream literally.

On the surface, it might simply be that I had such a magical new years day practice last year and I am afraid it will be less magical tomorrow.

There is a sexual / relationship aspect of it (first working with a man, then with a woman, being rejected by both) which might be meaningful, in terms of Zippy and myself and our physical relationship. (hip openers = genitals = sexuality)

There might be a "feeling like an outsider at the studio" perspective. And perhaps there is a looming crisis in my practice, an opportunity for misunderstanding, for rejection, for the possibility of me walking away.

Hm....stuff to ponder. Stuff to be conscious of.

Addendum: Ninty minutes of hot yoga later, a new spin on the dream. Perhaps the male partner who was not paying attention to me at first, and the subsequent female partner who was similarly outwardly focused are both me. Both of my life identities so far have spent a lot of time working with others, and perhaps not so much time working with myself. I mean. Duh.

Now who do I make the check for the co-pay out to?