June 05, 2009

Not So Proud

I guess that Saturday is CT Pride Day, and the weather looks to be nearly perfect. Down at Bushnell Park, 11 am to 5 pm.

Have not been much into Pride Day for a few years now. Not all that connected or invested in the local community; the downside of living in a liberal, accepting place is that there is less need for a queer ghetto, and as a result, the GLBT organizations and businesses are pretty thin. The Project 100 / Community Center closed doors a few years back. There are two local bars (Chez Est and Polo Club), neither of which does much for me - not much of a drinker to start with, I rarely stay up past 11, and the GLBT entertainment options do not really resonate. I'm not all that big on gay marriage (it does not seem to work all that well for the straight folks....maybe we should find a different model) which is the one political cause that seems to have traction these days. And my membership into the lesbian tribe seems conditional at best. So, in general, I'm an "on the outside, looking in" kind of queer woman. I have a few smallish circles of queerness I move through but none seems particularly connected to any sort of greater community.

Were I hanging out on Saturday, I would no doubt show up (probably on bike), walk around, say hi to some old friends, make a few circuits of the festival grounds, and wander off feeling kind of lonely and disconnected. But since I will heading out to Rhode Island for a Green / Folkie fest (musicians I enjoy, workshops and vibe I can embrace, and yoga to boot), I get to avoid the "I really feel like I ought to be part of this but somehow its nor working for me" experience.

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