June 18, 2006

Father's Day

Been over 25 years since I've had a father; my dad died in 1979. It is symptomatic of my father, the role of father's in this culture, and my own journey that my father's death, and the subsequent years, was a mixed thing. Dad was kind, loving, and thoughtful, but distant, and he did not touch my life so directly as I passed through adolescence. When he died, I was angry, I was sad, I was relieved in some ways. The fact that his death was not devastating is perhaps the saddest aspect of the story.

Happy Father's Day, Dad. I wish that you were still around; I'm a lot different person today than I was in 1979. Not sure if our relationship would have survived all of my ups and downs, but sitting here, in 2006, I miss you, a lot.

You died way too young, and I suspect that you had a lot of things in your life that were left unsaid, were unexplored. Thanks for the good start, for making my youth a time of safety and sustenance. I've had so many opportunities, and such a solid foundation; my life is truly wonderful in 2006. You did well. If you are out there, and can let me know, I'll be listening.

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