September 11, 2007

Heart in my throat

As he does from time to time, Colin McEnroe reaches across the miles (he's on the cape at the moment) to dissolve me in a puddle of sadness, and thankfulness, and appreciation.

I spent a day last week with my mom - having dinner with her and her best friend, talking about nothing as I did some work and she watched television, spending a rare night under the same roof, and sharing a drive back from Philly to Hartford. Colin reminds me how blessed I am for those precious hours and minutes.

It was close to a decade ago that we thought we might lose her; Mom's complicated health problems were putting her in the hospital 2-3 times a year, and it seemed likely that a downward spiral might drag her under in not too many years. Not unlike watching Dad die slowly, as the heart attacks piled up and we stood by helplessly. Fortunately, her doctors got her stabilized, and she's been able to manage her health issues the past many years.

So yeah. September 11th. A day of atonement, of contemplation, of thoughtfulness. Colin puts it so beautifully. "We live inside flowers that sit on pads that float on the water that floats on the river bed that floats of the surface of the world that floats in space. None of it is permanent, and we would do well to see some beauty in that."

I have been blessed to have seen that, and felt that, and in my best moments I walk and think and act with that knowledge at my core. But I forget too soon. I am blessed to have people in my life to remind me, now and then.....

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