March 14, 2007

Finish Line in Sight

About 16 hours from now, give or take, I will be heading north to Greensboro VT for a 5 day Enlightenment Intensive. My second, and I am looking forward to it, with some small excitement and some small reservation.

I've had such a busy period at work that the downtime will be good. At the same time, the EI is not exactly Club Med - its pretty intense and challenging. I used to describe good therapy as having a rake dragged through my brain, and the EI is pretty much 3 solid days of that. On some levels I think its intended to break a person just a little bit, in order for the divine to slip in through the cracks. I love and respect the leaders, I am excited to work with a slightly different configuration as last time, and I am excited to work with old friends as well as meet new ones. I'm even excited about the ride up; a friend from another workshop and I are carpooling and it will be nice to get to know her better.

I had such a delicious and formative experience last time - I head into this one fearing a sophomore slump, that things will be so different, or that I will try to hard or not try hard enough or having figured out the system I will try to take short cuts or whatever. I'm a type A yogi, and dammit, if I do not emerge on Monday with a slightly better experience than last time or a bit more enlightenment, I'll be disappointed.

Work has been ultra busy and I would be lying to say I was comfortable with what I am leaving undone, what I should have finished up, documented, sent off, prior to tomorrow. Maybe I will get some things done tonight or tomorrow morning (although I am also grabbing one more yoga class). Likewise, I have been so busy that Zippy has gotten the short end of the stick, and I feel bad about that. Sh-h-h-h, I plan to get a card and drop it in the mail tomorrow so she gets it Friday or Saturday. A little "I love you" reminder.

Oh well. Life happens. I have been pondering a thought the last few days "Every breath a gift". And it feels that way.

At the last dyad of my previous intensive, I felt like I was close to another experience - like I was running a quarterback sneak at the goal line. I hit the ground, the clock ran out, the buzzer sounded, and I came up short. I went to be that night kind of drained and empty, but woke refreshed and happy. I need to keep that feeling in mind - my desperate desire for the enlightenment experience, my passion and energy for connection to the divine, my awareness of time ticking by. I have been gifted with three more days of Enlightenment Intensive. It all starts again. I just had a whole body shiver typing this. Wow. Blessed Am I.

OK, I lied. I am excited as hell!

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