April 04, 2007

A Three Year Old Girl

She came to me in a dream last night.

I was at my old house in Waterbury. My mom and sister were there - mom seemed to be bringing her to me. She was quite precocious - sitting on the floor and attempting to make lists of numbers in a lined notebook. I told her we would go get her some crayons and a coloring book. She liked firetrucks, and looked out the window, fascinated by the garbage truck with the big clamp that grabs the barrels and dumps it into the truck.

Practical things - I worried about her health care (was she a foster kid? was DCF involved? would she be on the Husky health care plan?) I worried about child care. I imagined her sitting at the empty desk in my office, coloring, while I worked. I wondered how caring for this child would impact my yoga practice.

My inner child, returned to me? A harbinger of a young person coming into my life? Am I to be a parent? Not sure. But I awoke with my hands clutching my heart, the way I did during the intensive, as I held a small brown bird protected in the cage of my chest and ribs. I felt filled with love.

I took my armor off during the intensive. Perhaps my inner child is feeling like the adult in her life is finally safe to approach. Funny, its been a long time since I have done inner child work - the late 80's / early 90's. She's changed quite a bit.....

A kitten was involved as well - a fierce grey stripey kitten, running around, attacking, playing. I'm allergic to cats so I worried about that, and I was worried about how the kitten and Nipsy would get along....

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